“Here is a place to bring your whole self and find sanctuary, nurturing, replenishment, love, and faith in the world we can and will build together.”
Unitarian Universalists stand as a beacon of love and hope during a national debate on LGBT rights. Our faith supports the inherent worth and dignity of every person, with no exceptions. Whether you are single or in a relationship, we believe that love is a gift from God. We also believe that loving couples of all kinds should be able to marry.
This belief is lived out within each person’s own personal call to faith, among congregants who gather for worship and service, and out in the world working for social change. The Unitarian Universalist campaign, Standing on the Side of Love, is described on their web site as, “a public advocacy campaign that seeks to harness love’s power to stop oppression.” It continues with, “No one should be dehumanized through acts of exclusion, oppression, or violence because of their identities.”
We Are Not Moving On
We are not moving on
we are embracing our mourning
we are sad enough to know we must laugh again
no one deserves a tragedy
we are better than we think and not quite what we want to be
we will continue to invent the future
we will prevail—Nikki Giovanni (2007)
Unitarian Universalists affirm the inherent worth and dignity of all human beings. Inherent means that worth is not dependent on what we do or what we have. It is simply part of our being. We are part of the interdependent web and we have value.
As the crickets’ soft autumn hum
is to us
so we are to the trees
as they are
to the rocks and the hills—Gary Snyder
What does it mean to belong to the Earth?
Step Three: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
People say this step is a great tool in pain management—asking a person to turn her or his will and life over to the care of God, as we understood Him. In my alcoholic bottom I cringed when I first heard this approach. I said, “This is not what Dr. King taught. Dr. King taught people to sacrifice in order to help make the world a better place.”
For me AA’s, “Let Go and Let God,” conjured what Catholic Bishops working on the side of the landed elite told the peasants of Latin America.
“Like they tell you on the airplane: first, put on your own oxygen mask. Then, you’ll be able to put your child’s on them.”
Bad things happen to good people. We know this, but when something happens to a child, when they are diagnosed with a serious illness or condition, their illness also “happens” to their parents or caregivers. Caregivers often must put the rest of their lives on hold to attend to the sick child. But those of us in that role must also take care of ourselves so that we are strengthened to give that care.
Sleep, my child and peace attend you, all through the night. I who love you shall be near you, all through the night. Soft the drowsy hours are creeping, hill and vale in slumber sleeping , I my loving vigil keeping, all through the night.
—Traditional Welsh Lullaby, Adapted by Alicia Carpenter
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
—Elizabeth Stone
When your child or infant is in the hospital, ill or injured, you may feel like all of life’s “knowns” are turned upside down. Suddenly unmoored, you may be struggling to regain some control over your life as you seek to protect your child. You may be wondering how this could have happened or why?, wondering “What did we do to deserve this?” or “Where is God?”
You did nothing to deserve what is happening to you and your family. Your child did nothing to deserve the suffering he or she might be experiencing now.
“Many of our fears are tissue-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”
—Brendan Francis
Unitarian Universalists value knowledge; we believe in facing the facts and tackling problems rationally. We might even go so far as to affirm that there is a kind of salvation of the heart and mind in knowing life as it is, in all its glory and ugliness.
The human psyche does not always cooperate, however.
What do we do when irrational—perhaps nonrational—fears seize us and send us running from the knowledge?
Most people have fears that play havoc with their reason, and I am no exception.
“Caregiving is a defining moral practice. It is a practice of empathic imagination, responsibility, witnessing and solidarity with those in great need. It is a moral practice that makes caregivers, and at times even the care receivers, more present, and thereby more fully human.”
—Dr. Arthur Kleinman, Harvard Medical School Professor and primary caregiver for his wife, Joan
Based on what we know about Alzheimer’s disease and the observations we may make with “eyes to see but do not see” and “ears to hear but do not hear,” we could erroneously conclude that the potential and purpose of persons with Alzheimer’s is all used up. In order to discover their potential and purpose, we must look at them with the “fresh” eyes of one who is looking for the holy. Then, it is up to us—those who know and love persons with Alzheimer’s—to reveal their value so the rest of the world can also see and appreciate them.
“We…covenant to promote and affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every person.”
—Purposes and Principles of the Unitarian Universalist Association
Unitarian Universalists hold justice to be a particularly important aspect of right relationships among human beings. Among the Principles and Purposes that UU congregations covenant together to affirm and promote are “justice, equity and compassion in human relations,” and “the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.” And among the sources from which our living tradition draws, we lift up “words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love.”
But how can we temper justice with mercy?
Now that you’ve made the decision, it’s about time to start thinking about the wedding. Weddings come in many shapes and sizes: big and small, formal and casual, and they join couples of many kinds in many places with many different types of people officiating.
A wedding celebrates the love shared between two individuals. It is also the ceremonial act during which two people commit to one another publicly. A wedding is a joyous occasion, a day of recognition and affirmation of the great love a couple shares. It provides a way for the couple’s community to affirm their support for that relationship and the family the couple builds together, and for the couple to affirm the importance of their community in upholding their life together. And even beyond that, a wedding is a sacred ritual that reminds us that the Holy is present wherever there is great love.
Marriage both acknowledges an emotional bond between two people, and strengthens that bond one that is made in the company of a community of people, usually family and friends that acknowledge that bond and agree to support the couple in their joined lives. While weddings can and should be fun, they are also one of the most important occasions in a couple’s life together, and they can get complicated. Yet even with this “stressful adventure,” a wedding ceremony is a unique and beautiful celebration that expresses all that is in the hearts of the couple, their friends and their families.
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Quest for Meaning is a program of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF).
As a Unitarian Universalist congregation with no geographical boundary, the CLF creates global spiritual community, rooted in profound love, which cultivates wonder, imagination, and the courage to act.