Our culture rewards those who wear an ever-positive attitude. But sometimes, what is honest and right is to express our hurt and anger…to admit “this stinks!”
Optimism is often held up as a cardinal virtue. No matter the situation, we feel we should be plucky, searching for that silver lining, and courageous. With lips trembling, we bravely say, “I’m not going to have a pity party.” We stiffen our shoulders and brace for a hit, a plastic smile on our faces.
Yet the religious faith of Unitarian Universalism is based on authenticity. We encourage people to be their genuine selves in our churches, rather than mouthing things they don’t believe, or pretending to be something other than what they are.
That which we sow we shall reap:
when we sow our thoughts we reap our actions;
when we sow our actions we reap our habits;
when we sow our habits we reap our character;
when we sow our character we reap our destiny.
—Hindu proverb
Many of us have long since mastered the art of despair. Many of us have fallen into despair’s trance, memorized by thoughts of suicide.
In some religious circles, the act of killing oneself is a subject of great controversy. Some traditions use their power to shun and shame those who have committed suicide and have the audacity to condemn souls into further despair in the afterlife—as if they had such power. These demeaning beliefs are just as harmful as the religions that turn their back on those in this life. As Unitarian Universalists we seek to build a new way, based on acceptance and love.
“When I became convinced that the universe is natural—that all ghosts and gods are myths—there entered into my brain the joy of freedom. I was free: free to think, to express my thoughts; free to live for myself and those I loved; free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope; free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds; free from the fear of eternal pain; free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies; free from devils, ghosts and gods. There were no prohibited places in all the realms of thought; no following another’s steps; no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words.”
—Robert Ingersoll
A study conducted by the University of Minnesota found that atheists ranked lower than “Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups” in ‘sharing my vision of American society.’ Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry.
This kind of prejudice makes it difficult for those of us who have rejected traditional religion, or perhaps were never taught conventional religious concepts, to be open about our beliefs.
Sleep, my child and peace attend you, all through the night. I who love you shall be near you, all through the night. Soft the drowsy hours are creeping, hill and vale in slumber sleeping , I my loving vigil keeping, all through the night.
—Traditional Welsh Lullaby, Adapted by Alicia Carpenter
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
—Elizabeth Stone
When your child or infant is in the hospital, ill or injured, you may feel like all of life’s “knowns” are turned upside down. Suddenly unmoored, you may be struggling to regain some control over your life as you seek to protect your child. You may be wondering how this could have happened or why?, wondering “What did we do to deserve this?” or “Where is God?”
You did nothing to deserve what is happening to you and your family. Your child did nothing to deserve the suffering he or she might be experiencing now.
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I have wonderful neighbors who delight in garish inflatable yard decorations. We love these neighbors, but would question their taste if they did not question it for us.
One day, as we walked past their front yard and saw them plugging in the rotating Winnie the Pooh, Tigger and Piglet inflatable Christmas globe, they turned to us, grinned, and said, “That’s right—we’re THOSE kind of neighbors.” They also told us that they might have held off on the Christmas decorations if they’d only been able to find anything for Thanksgiving.
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Recall a time when things weren’t going well for you, when you didn’t feel quite right, didn’t feel quite like yourself; a time when you couldn’t hear the still, small voice, or when its song was faint; a time when there was some emotional or mental dissonance in your life; a time when you felt disconnected, depressed, anxious, weak, subdued, out-of-whack, broken; a time when your sense of purpose and meaning waned, and you sought help.
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Gratitude is an attitude and there are aspects of it that I would not have realized if I had not come to prison. At least not in the same way. Although it may sound like an empty cliché to some and be disbelieved by others: I need to be here for the lessons I need to learn, and these lessons have nothing to do with what the state claims I did. Read more →
The Church of the Larger Fellowship Nominating Committee seeks CLF/CYF members to run for positions on the Board of Directors beginning June 2012. Read more →
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As a kid, I loved the idea of the Indians and the Pilgrims having a happy feast together. In my liberal family and small congregation the generosity of the Indian people, and the fact that the starving Pilgrims wouldn’t have survived without them, was a beautiful story with the Indians squarely in the role of heroes. (Go, Squanto!) Read more →
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If you’ve been paying close attention you might remember that back in May I wrote about how it felt a bit odd to be talking about gratitude when it wasn’t November, the month in which we celebrate Thanksgiving.
And yet, here it is November now, and we’re back to the topic of gratitude. What’s up with that? Didn’t we do a good enough job covering the subject back in May?
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Quest for Meaning is a program of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF).
As a Unitarian Universalist congregation with no geographical boundary, the CLF creates global spiritual community, rooted in profound love, which cultivates wonder, imagination, and the courage to act.