The Quest that Brought Me Here
I joined CLF when I moved to the Missouri Ozarks in 2000. The nearest fellowship was more than an hour away, the nearest UU church two hours. While I had some friends here, I knew not one UU. In Kansas City, I had been a member of All Souls for ten years, active as a leader in both worship and governance, so this was a huge change.
CLF became my refuge, the CLF-L list my everyday church community. Soon I was volunteering to help CLF experiment with improving use of the internet. I was asked to join the CLF board in 2004 and served 6 years, during which CLF undertook big steps in becoming a 21st century congregation.
My service on the search committee in 2010 was deeply rewarding. We worked hard to give potential candidates both an accurate and broad picture of what CLF was, and how her leaders, members and staff hoped it could develop. We had an fine pool of applicants, and interviewed a stellar group of potential candidates, among whom Rev. Meg Riley shone the brightest.
Here at home, I helped start a UU fellowship 6 years ago, and found both other UUs in these woods, as well as people longing for liberal religion though not familiar with UUism. Our average weekly attendance has grown to 16,some traveling as long as 45 minutes to come to services. Our members hold dual membership in CLF, therefore receiving Quest and UU World. This has markedly deepened our work and worship together.
I am honored to be one of the initial cadre of bloggers on Quest for Meaning. I look forward to sharing my own voice and experience, and getting to know other CLF members, both bloggers and commenters.
In this moment, I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. All of our parents have passed on; there’s no one left to take care of. I took care of my grandma starting in 1990, when my mother developed early onset Alzheimers. 21 years later, Grandma and both my parents are gone, and both my partner’s parents are gone.
Now there’s no one to hold family history, to say who’s who in old photos or how grandma made that coffee cake or where that pitcher with the blue windmills came from – except me.
Now that I have learned so much about end of life care and dying, and funerals and estate management, it seems like earning a degree where I hope not to get another job in the field.
So my quest at this time is to pause, I think. Now that we are not in hospice, I want to try to leave open the time and energy gap that’s left. I need to work for at least another 18 months, until I qualify for Medicare. But I’d like to begin pausing, having more room to breathe, to play, to catch up with myself, to just be with my girlfriend. I may change my mind – the Obama campaign beckons – but right now, I’m looking for a bench at the crossroads.
As predicted by my grade school principle, I’ve turned out much like my mother—always asking questions, having big ideas, and ready to lead the singing after.
- Mom Did the Best She Could in Her Brokenness - March 12, 2012
- The Quest that Brought Me Here - October 25, 2011
