Either recorded or live music can be played before the Processional while the congregation of wedding guests arrive and take their seats. The Prelude typically begins a few minutes before the official start of the wedding ceremony.

Immediately after the Prelude, the Processional begins. During the Processional, the family (and/or closest friends) of the betrothed take their seats and the wedding party take their places. Many couples choose special songs for the seating of their parents, and usually the music changes for the entrance of the bride(s).

Whether or not to have a Processional or how formal the Processional should be are decisions for the couple to make. Some couples choose to skip the formal seating of family, others choose to formally seat even more family and friends. Some grooms have a best woman instead of a best man, some brides have a man of honor, and some wedding couples choose to forego a wedding party altogether. It all depends on the unique combination of friends, family, and circumstances you each bring to your marriage.

Here are examples of formal Processionals which can be edited, altered, and added to, according to your wishes:

Bride and groom
Groom, Best Man, and Officiant enter and stand at the front prior to the start of the Processional music.
Grandparents of the Bride
Grandparents of the Groom
Mother of the Bride
Mother of the Groom
Bridesmaid(s)
Maid/Matron of Honor
Ring Bearer(s)
Flower Girl(s)
Bride’s Entrance

Two brides
Officiant enters and stands at the front prior to the start of the Processional music.
Grandparents of the Betrothed
Mothers of the Betrothed
Bridesmaid(s)
Maid/Matron of Honor
Ring Bearer(s)
Flower Girl(s)
Bride’s Entrance
Bride’s Entrance

Two grooms
Officiant, both men of honor, and both grooms enter and stand at the front prior to the start of the Processional music.
Grandparents of the Betrothed
Mothers of the Betrothed
Bridesmaid(s)
Maid/Matron of Honor
Ring Bearer(s)
Flower Girl(s)

During the invocation, the officiant welcomes the congregation, expresses gratitude for the love that has brought the couple together, and welcomes the presence of the sacred. This part of the ceremony can be called many things including opening words or gathering words. Your officiant may have suggestions.

Here are two examples of invocations:

1. Dearly beloved, we have been gathered here before God, and in the presence of this community, to witness and support these two people as they join together in the covenant of marriage. These two shall make vows to one another, professing to love one another before all others, through the good and the not-so-good. While marriage is an incredible gift, it is also responsibility, to be entered into with reverence and commitment. Indeed, this outward ceremony is but a symbol of an inner reality; the union of two hearts, which the church may bless and the state affirm legally, but which none other than God can create.
2. Friends, we have come together today in this holy place to join these two together in marriage. What a blessing to be present for the greatest day in their lives, the moment when they join their lives into one shared life, bringing all that they each are to a union greater than either of them alone. From our own wells of joy and hardship, we each bring hopes and prayers for them, for a strong, tender, and deeply committed marriage. [Name] and [Name], may you enter into this marriage in wholeness of spirit, and with the support and love of this gathered community.

Many couples choose to light a candle together as a symbol of their union. Unitarian Universalists typically light the flaming chalice  at the beginning of worship, and couples with roots in this faith tradition may wish to include this in their wedding ceremonies. Your officiant may have suggestions for words to use for this part of the ceremony. Here are examples:

May the flame of love that burns within our hearts today day
Shine forth, illuminating our years together
With compassion and the light of truth.
—Rev. Kristin Grassel Schmidt

We light this flame as a symbol of the fire of our love,
providing warmth for all those touched by it
and shines a light into the world.
—Rev. Christian Schmidt

Note: This is also a good time to acknowledge those who could not be present for the wedding, for whatever reason. You may wish to add a moment of silence after the chalice or unity candle lighting and then add additional, smaller candles for each person you are remembering while the officiant reads their names. Check with your officiant for ideas.

Whether scripture, literature, or poetry, couples should consider carefully which readings they would like to include in their ceremony. There are many books available with all sorts of selections for wedding readings, and your officiant will probably have plenty of resources.

In addition to choosing the readings themselves, you may wish to consider how the readings can involve family and friends in your special day. Asking someone to do a reading during the ceremony can be a great honor, and a thoughtful way to share your joy.

Also referred to as the sermon or message, the homily is the gift of the officiant to the wedding couple. It is typically a brief reflection on the meaning of marriage and usually echoes the language or themes evoked in the readings. Officiants have different philosophies about wedding homilies, so speak with yours if you have particular wishes, questions, or if you want to omit the homily.

This is the part of the ceremony when the couple affirms that they feel ready to make their vows to one another. Here are two examples of affirmations of intentions:

1. NAME and NAME, have you carefully considered the sacredness of the obligations assumed in marriage. Do you feel assured that you are prepared to enter into this holy covenant? If so, please join hands.NAME, do you take NAME to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together with constancy and devotion? Do you promise to love her/him, comfort her/him, honor her/him, and keep her/him so long as you both live? (I do)NAME, do you take NAME to be your wedded husband/wife, to live together with constancy and devotion? Do you promise to love him/her, comfort him/her, honor him/her, and keep him/her so long as you both live? (I do)
2. NAME and NAME, have you have entered into this gathering with care and thoughtfulness? Are you ready to make your vows to one another and enter into marriage together? If so, please join hands.NAME, do you take NAME to be your wedded partner? Do you promise to love her/him, honor her/him, and cherish her/him for as long as you both are living? (I do)NAME, do you take NAME to be your wedded partner? Do you promise to love him/her, honor him/her, and cherish him/her for as long as you both are living? (I do)

You may wish to write your own wedding vows as an expression of the particular covenant that the two of you make. One process that works well is for each person in the couple to sit down separately and write the promises that s/he would like to make. Then the couple works together to create one set of vows that they both will say, drawing on elements from both members of the couple—making sure that they have winnowed down to the essence of what both people want to say, rather than creating a lengthy laundry list! Here are two variations on traditional wedding vows:

1. I, NAME, take you, NAME, to be my wedded wife/husband / to have and to hold / from this day forward / for better or for worse / for richer or for poorer / in sickness and in health / so long as we both shall live.I, NAME, take you, NAME, to be my wedded husband/wife / to have and to hold / from this day forward / for better or for worse / for richer or for poorer / in sickness and in health / so long as we both shall live.
2. I, NAME, take you, NAME, to be my partner / to have and to hold / for better or for worse / for richer or for poorer / in sickness and in health / to love and to cherish / for as long as we are both living.I, NAME, take you, NAME, to be my partner / to have and to hold / for better or for worse / for richer or for poorer / in sickness and in health / to love and to cherish / for as long as we are both living.

Traditionally, the wedding couple exchanges rings as a symbol of their commitment to one another. Here are two ways this can be done:

1. The ring is a symbol of eternal love. The ring has no beginning and no end; so too may your love spring eternal.Repeat after me: NAME, with this ring, I thee wed.
2. May these rings be a symbol of the everlasting unity into which you have just committed yourselves in marriage.Please repeat after me: NAME, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and commitment.

Here is the time for the officiant and gathered community to lift up its highest hopes and dreams for the wedding couple.

The pronouncement is the exact moment when the couple is officially joined together in marriage. Here is an example of words used for the pronouncement:

NAME and NAME, in the presence of God and your family and friends, you have consented together in marriage. I now pronounce you partners for life / husband and wife / husband and husband / wife and wife. Go forward from this moment giving and sharing in all that you do, practicing your love with as much intensity as you feel it toward one another now. Please kiss!

Also often called the closing prayer, this is an opportunity for a final blessing for the couple and the congregation. This is also a good time to ask the officiant to include any instructions to the congregation (where to go for the reception, etc.)

During the recessional, joyful music plays while the couple and the wedding party recess out of the worship space in the reverse order that they entered.

While the “giving of the bride” reflects the idea that women must be given into marriage by their fathers, many couples choose to include it as a matter of tradition. The following is an example of a family blessing that may be used in the place of the “giving of the bride,” and which offers the opportunity for both partners’ families to be acknowledged.

Today, NAME and NAME will be joined together as partners for life / husband and wife / husband and husband / wife and wife. NAME and NAME have been walked down the aisle by someone/people who love them. It is true that NAME’s union with NAME today will significantly change their relationships with their families. Rather than being given away, NAME and NAME are being given to one another, and to one another’s family. Today, through this marriage, two families are also being united; bound together through the love and commitment made by NAME and NAME. May the lives of both families be eternally blessed by this union. Amen.