Transitioning
Kay Anderst
CLF Member, incarcerated in KS
When I read that April’s theme was Transformation, I decided that it was time to share my story with the world for the first time. 2024 is a big year for me, as I have begun the Male to Female (MtF) transition process. It took a lot of prayer and soul searching to get to where I am now.
My journey begins in rural South Dakota. My parents are immigrants, I am a first generation American. We are of Eastern European and Jewish descent, so old Testament laws and morals were imprinted into me as I grew up. There was right and there was wrong with no shades of gray or alternate choices. The result of this strict upbringing was inner turmoil as I got older. I saw that my orientation and gender identity were not compatible with what I had been taught.
How can God love me, I thought, when every thought and action I took were tainted by sin? Why did He make me so broken, so against everything He wanted mankind to be? These questions haunted me every time I tried to pray.
In my 20s I turned away from God completely, going years without a single prayer. I embraced a bisexual identity and found a measure of happiness. After a time, I figured out that I was transgender, and it was only then did the pieces start to fall into place.
I was then angry with God. How could he do this to me? Was he asleep at the switch the day I was born?
My turning point came when a woman I was dating told me something. She said that God didn’t make mistakes, and that He put me here on earth because she liked girls like me. I was like this to be there to love her. Something else she pointed out was that there were millions like me, all through history. Would God have allowed so many of us to be made if not by his will?
This happened right before I came to prison. While it helped me make the final decision to make the MtF conversion, I have spent the last 4 years in hiding, biding my time until I felt it was safe enough to come out into the light. While difficult, God has helped me through this dark time. My personal relationship with Him is the strongest it’s been in my entire life.
So now is my time for change and transformation. It’s not an overnight process; in fact it will take a couple years. I will face many challenges ahead, but I know that what I do is by design. This is what He wanted of me. This place, this prison, is no longer my place of confinement.
It is now God’s tool of transformation and change. I am right where I need to be. I will emerge from this cocoon in 2 years and like a butterfly, I will be free to live the life and be the woman he always wanted me to be.
If anyone reading this is contemplating similar choices, or has been down this road before, your welcome to share your story with me.
You may contact me at: Kay Anderst 18611-273, PO Box 1000 USP 2, Leavenworth, KS 66048.
Notice of the CLF Annual Meeting
To all members of the Church of the Larger Fellowship, Unitarian Universalist:
Per Article VII, Sections 1 and 2, of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF) Bylaws, the 51st Annual Meeting will be held via video/telephone conference call and screen sharing on Sunday, June 16, 2024 at 6:45PM EDT/3:45PM PDT. RSVP to attend the meeting at www.clfuu.org/joinannualmeeting.
All those who have access to the Internet or phone are encouraged to join our meeting via Zoom and participate in the discussion. Meeting materials will include absentee ballots for those unable to attend in person. Please send your ballots to our office at the address on the ballot so we receive them no later than Friday 6/14/24 to ensure your vote can be included in our process..
We will send the meeting materials in April. All incarcerated members will automatically be sent paper copies of the meeting materials and do not need to send us a materials request form. All free world members will be automatically be emailed the materials as an electronic document. If we don’t have an email address we will send a printed copy. Meeting materials will also be posted on our website (www.clfuu.org/annualmeeting). Free world members who would prefer a printed copy sent to them may request that by sending back the form on the final page of this issue of Quest, or calling the CLF office at 617-948-6150.
The purpose of the meeting is to:
– Report on highlights of CLF activities and finances
– Vote for the following leadership positions (see nominations from Nominating Committee in the packet):
· Elect three members to 3-year terms on the board of directors,
· Elect one member to 2-year term on the board of directors to fill a term vacated before the term was finished,
· Elect one member to 1-year term on the board of directors to fill a term vacated before the term was finished,
· Elect one member to a 3-year term on the nominating committee,
· Elect one member to a 1-year term on the nominating committee to fill a term vacated before the term was finished,,
· Elect a clerk and treasurer for one year
We will elect a moderator from among members present to preside at the meeting.
One of the important tasks we undertake as a congregation is voting for our elected leadership, and my hope is that as many members of the congregation will participate as possible.
Aisha Ansano, Board Chair
Quest March 2024
March 2024
“Pluralism accepts the moral reality of different kinds of truth, but rejects the idea that they can all be placed on a single scale, measured by a single value.” —Timothy Snyder
Articles
Embracing Pluralism
When my daughter was nine years old, she asked me which religion was the “right one.” Read more »
Chaos and Concord
Chaos and Concord battle in the collective mind. Chaos whispers to every tribe, religion, and race Read more »
Love Demands A Permanent Ceasefire Now
Recently, several people have taken the time to write to us about the ways in which we talk about Israel and Gaza, especially on our weekly talk show, Voices of Unitarian Universalism (aka The VUU). I thought that our wider community would be interested in my response. Read more »
Notice of the CLF Annual Meeting
Per Article VII, Sections 1 and 2, of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF) Bylaws, the 51st Annual Meeting will be held via video/telephone conference call and screen sharing on Sunday, June 16, 2024 at 6:45PM EDT/3:45PM PDT. Read more »
Pluralism
What does it mean to be pluralistic in our beliefs?
Jack
CLF member, incarcerated in MA
Is God an old man in flowing robes with a long beard who looks down from on high? A Lord and Lady offering blessings to those in worshiping circles? A pantheon of Gods, each representing another face of a Supreme Being? Or Gaia, Mother Earth, in which we and all were created?
Is Jesus a prophet? The long awaited Messiah? A forerunner of Mohammed? An issuer of great wisdoms like the Buddha? On the son of a supreme being — but then aren’t we all sons and daughters of the Supreme Being?
Is Heaven a place of pearly gates, streets of gold, food aplenty, where we all learn to play harps and praise our God; a place where all earthly pleasures are ours? Is Hell a place of fire and brimstone, a land of ice and perpetual cold, where our earthly bodies are eternally tormented?
Is Heaven and Hell the legacy we leave behind, the kindnesses we showed, the ones we befriended, fought, touched, challenged to be better, to show love for all? Or is it the pain we left behind to be suffered generation after generation?
Does it really matter? Does it really matter how we envision a thing beyond human comprehension? Does it really matter what happens to our earthly bodies after death? Does it matter what name we use for those forces of creation?
Names come and go. Visions change as our lives change and evolve from a primitive society living on the land to a people of computers, space travel, and seeking to understand the stars.
What does matter is how we lived our lives, how we respected each other, and how we had reverence for all creation of the heavens and the earth. What does matter is not what we will gain or suffer after death but the legacy we leave for future generations. Will they show the love we shared or the pain we caused?
The future of and those who live beyond us is not written in stone—yet—but you are the sculptor with the hammer and chisel who will write it. What will you write?
Jacob
CLF Member, incarcerated in AR
Pluralistic is, by definition, holding to the doctrine of pluralism, which is accepting and embrace diversity in all of its forms. The act of accepting and encouraging diversity leads to a better acceptance and love for others. It helps us to remember the fact that the Divine is Love; accepting others and their differences is a step to acting in Love and embodying the true essence of Love.
A Utopian Crucible
Lauren Silverwolf
CLF member, incarcerated in TX
Oxford defines pluralism as, “the acceptance within a society of a number of groups with different beliefs or ethnic backgrounds.” This does not sound like the world we live in today, but it does sound like somewhere I would bleed to see become a reality.
I joined the U.S. Army at the age of 18, straight out of high school. I was an Airborne Infantryman, and I swore to defend the Constitution. What I wanted was to defend the principles of being truly free, of being accepting of all who came to us, and of being what we proclaimed ourselves to be in word, although never truly in deed. I would love nothing more, and I would serve again to defend a truly pluralistic society.
I would like to introduce two more terms to define what this would look like: utopia and crucible. Again, we go to Oxford: utopia is defined as, “an imagined world or society where everything is perfect,” and crucible is defined as, “a container in which metals or other substances may be melted or heated.”
This may seem completely out of context, but think of a society like the crucible. If we melt together, we become one out of many, and if we could coexist in this manner, most of our reasons for war or violence would diminish, creating a utopia. Pluralism seems far off, to my eye at least, but I believe it is achievable. The day we see it, we live truly in a Utopian Crucible.
Notice of the CLF Annual Meeting
To all members of the Church of the Larger Fellowship, Unitarian Universalist:
Per Article VII, Sections 1 and 2, of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF) Bylaws, the 51st Annual Meeting will be held via video/telephone conference call and screen sharing on Sunday, June 16, 2024 at 6:45PM EDT/3:45PM PDT. RSVP to attend the meeting.
All those who have access to the Internet or phone are encouraged to join our meeting via Zoom and participate in the discussion. Meeting materials will include absentee ballots for those unable to attend in person. Please send your ballots to our office at the address on the ballot so we receive them no later than Friday 6/14/24 to ensure your vote can be included in our process.
We will send the meeting materials in April. All incarcerated members will automatically be sent paper copies of the meeting materials and do not need to send us a materials request form. All free world members will be automatically be emailed the materials as an electronic document. If we don’t have an email address we will send a printed copy. Meeting materials will also be posted on our website. Free world members who would prefer a printed copy sent to them may request that by sending back the form on the final page of this issue of Quest, or calling the CLF office at 617-948-6150.
The purpose of the meeting is to:
– Report on highlights of CLF activities and finances
– Vote for the following leadership positions (see nominations from Nominating Committee in the packet):
· Elect three members to 3-year terms on the board of directors,
· Elect one member to 2-year term on the board of directors to fill a term vacated before the term was finished,
· Elect one member to 1-year term on the board of directors to fill a term vacated before the term was finished,
· Elect one member to a 3-year term on the nominating committee,
· Elect one member to a 1-year term on the nominating committee to fill a term vacated before the term was finished,,
· Elect a clerk and treasurer for one year
We will elect a moderator from among members present to preside at the meeting.
One of the important tasks we undertake as a congregation is voting for our elected leadership, and my hope is that as many members of the congregation will participate as possible.
Aisha Ansano, Board Chair
Quest February 2024
February 2024
“All have their worth and each contributes to the worth of the others.” —J.R.R. Tolkien
Articles
Our Place in the Web
Interdependence has been a central concept to our Unitarian Universalist faith since our current principles were adopted in 1985, and yet, too often Unitarian Universalists have focused on the implications this has for our relationship with the natural world around us, without understanding that we, too, are part of that web. Read more »
Thoughts on Love and Compassion
Love is the wish for all human beings to have happiness. Compassion is the wish for all human beings to be free of suffering and what causes suffering. Read more »
Would you like to represent the Church of the Larger Fellowship at General Assembly?
General Assembly (GA) is the annual gathering of UUs from churches across the country to worship together, learn together and make decisions about how we run the association of congregations, and what we stand for as an association of congregations. Read more »
Interdepedence
How do you relate to and honor interdependence?
DAVID
CLF member, incarcerated in AR
I find this concept to be new and exciting. Throughout my life I’ve been taught to depend on God and family only when I need help through hard times and to help those in need, but with the undertone of looking down on them, because they didn’t have family like I did to support them. In prison, my family is not here to help me, so I must make a place in my heart for my fellow prisoners, and accept their help as I also help them.
Through sharing this newsletter and talking about what I learn through the CLF, I have found people I can create a community with, and be interdependent with. We lean on each other by learning together through this church and community in written letters. We devour our mail from the CLF as soon as we get it, and can’t wait to get a pen pal (hopefully one from Boston, since the Red Sox and the Patriots are my two favorite teams!).
Connectedness
JOSEPH
CLF Member, incarcerated in TX
“Every man and every woman is a star.” Those words, from Aleister Crowley’s Liber AL vel Legis, illustrates both the simplicity and complexity of the human condition. We are all special and unique, and are part of the larger cosmic dynamic set in place at creation. While special and unique, humanity must remember that they are not the center of everything, that the energy of others is necessary for vital existence.
Animism states that everything is alive and interconnected. This is true in the objective and subjective sense, in the microcosm as well as the macrocosm. We do not think twice about swatting a mosquito that bites or annoys us, but even those creatures play their part in the world. One may wonder how he/she/they are connected to the planet Jupiter, for example, as that planet is so far away from us on Earth. However, the universe is ordered. Jupiter is a sort of shield for Earth, taking hits from meteors that would end life on Earth. What benefit Jupiter receives from Earth is, as far as I know, unknown. However, because the universe is ordered, and reciprocity is one of the highest laws, one can rest assured that Jupiter also benefits.
The connectedness of humans comes through largely on the sociological scale. “People need people,” as the saying goes. However, the exchange goes far deeper than mere sociological “obligations.” People need people because nothing happens in a vacuum. We need each other to work out ideas, create the next generation, and bring about progress. These things all sound sociological, but in reality, they are the building blocks which enabled society in the first place. We not only need each other personally, we need each other professionally.
Remember, everything is alive and interconnected. As the form of creation with the highest ability to reason (as far as we know), humans are charged with recognizing our connectedness to the rest of creation, and being good stewards. Show me any religion, and I will show you the mandate for humanity’s stewardship. However, we must start with ourselves. If we cannot recognize and utilize our connectedness with each other as humans, the rest of creation will suffer.
Every human deserves the respect of every other human, and until the day this truth becomes manifest, our interdependence will remain a shadow of what it could be. Crowley’s formula, based in the Greek word Thelemn, stated: love is the law. Love under will. How strong is your will? Strong enough to hold the basic law of love? Reconcile your head and your heart, and you will find true connectedness with the rest of humanity, the world, and the universe.
Would you like to represent the Church of the Larger Fellowship at General Assembly?
General Assembly (GA) is the annual gathering of UUs from churches across the country to worship together, learn together and make decisions about how we run the association of congregations, and what we stand for as an association of congregations. GA 2024 will be held fully online from June 20-23, 2024 and will include worship, speakers, access to on-demand workshops, and sessions for association business (called General Sessions) that this year will include discussion and voting on the new proposed Article II of the UUA bylaws.
While anyone can attend GA, only congregational delegates can vote on association business. The CLF is entitled to 22 GA delegates. GA General Sessions will be held on 6/20 from 1–2pm and 5–6pm ET, on 6/21 and 6/22 from 2:30–5pm ET, and on 6/23 from 3–5pm ET. Delegates should be able to be online to attend the majority of these General Sessions live. CLF delegates vote their conscience on matters related to the denomination of Unitarian Universalism, and are responsible for their own expenses. There is no registration fee for delegates who are attending business portion of GA (General Sessions) only and not the worship and programs.
If you’d like to participate in GA 2024 as a CLF delegate, please fill out the online application at clfuu.org/delegate-application. Rev. Michael will be leading a training for CLF GA delegates later in the spring. For more information about General Assembly, visit www.uua.org/ga.
Quest January 2024
January 2024
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” —Maya Angelou
Articles
When Love is the Strength You Need
Recently a Young Adult Unitarian Universalist I know asked me “I know Love is at the center of our faith but how the hell am I supposed to love my oppressor?!” Read more »
This Trans Heart
Desperate and alone, this trans heart has been, forever seeking its needs in places bereft of such things. Read more »
Love at the Center: Exploring the New UU Values
If you’ve been tracking the next 6 months of Quest themes, you may have noticed something: we’re using these themes to explore the Values of Unitarian Universalism, as articulated in the proposed new Article II of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) Bylaws. Read more »
Love
What does it mean to center the value of love?
Hank
CLF member, incarcerated in LA
Through my eyes, I see all humans with equal vision, regardless of diverse qualities, color, gender, and belief — this is what love looks like to me. Through my senses, I perceive all as one and the same, directed by cosmic order, consciousness, self, God or Guru, which are all synonymous — this is what love feels like to me.
Through my ears I hear and hold no judgment, condemnation, ridicule, or punishments for whatever is said — this is God, through me, in me at all times. Love is God, and God is love: not separate from me, and never forsaking me, for me are one and therefore I am.
Donald
CLF member, incarcerated in CO
Love is a simple yet complex emotion for us to truly describe. However, we seem to know it when we feel it. Problems arise when we grasp at, try to control or desire love. Problems also happen when we reject or do not reciprocate love.
Love is at its best when we just allow it to be, and in turn, when we just “be” in it. Love exists outside of us, sometimes with, sometimes without us. We are not necessary for love, but love is a necessity for us.
What is Love?
Ryan
CLF Member, incarcerated in FL
L-O-V-E. Probably one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. Mostly due to the fact we only have one word for it. The Greeks however have multiple words to describe different types love. Here are four of them:
Eros, the easiest, is physical love. This is where we get words like erotic. It’s the love of how things look/feel/smell/taste or any other physical property. This might be an initial feeling towards someone we’re attracted to.
Philia is brotherly love. Think of philanthropy, coming together to raise money for a cause. This describes the love towards friends, co-workers and even humanity as a whole.
Storge is familial love. Not a common root word in the English language, but this is the love one typically feels towards parents, children, siblings or cousins.
The most powerful form of love is agape, or unconditional love that continues despite and perhaps even due to our flaws.
This is sometimes the hardest to achieve because as humans we put conditions on so much, usually unconsciously. This is what we as UUs strive for, especially in our acceptance of the LGBTQ+ and incarcerated members. This is the love to strive for.
What about your love?
