Does everything die?
Goal:
To help children see that change exists throughout nature.
To recognize that change represents the end of the way things were, and usually involves a loss of some kind.
To understand that change affects everybody, and is impossible to avoid.
Preparation:
Read the Develpmental information from Lessons of Loss
Find one or more of these three books in your local library or bookstore:
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, by Leo Buscaglia
Lifetimes, by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
Annie and the Old One, by Miska Miles
Activities:
Read one or more of the stories.
Use discussion questions to engage in discussion about each story
Discussion Questions
The Fall of Freddy the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia
• How does Freddie know that summer is coming to an end?
• How do the leaves feel as the wind begins to tug at their stems?
• Why do you think Freddie doesn’t get scared when spring passes into summer, or summer into
fall?
• How do you feel when Daniel lets go?
• When you look at the pictures in this book, what signs indicate that the seasons are changing?
• What happens to the leaves once they fall to the ground?
• What is the meaning of the last two words of the story?
• How does this story relate to the UU principle that says "We need to take care of the earth, the
home we share with all living things"?
Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
• People have at least one thing in common with any living object. What is it?
• What do we call the period between birth and death?
• Why is the lifetime of a bird different from the lifetime of a tree?
• What else affects how long something or somebody will live?
• What happens when an insect dies? A field mouse? A family pet?
• How does this story relate to the UU principle that says "We need to take care of the earth, the
home we share with all living things"?
Annie and the Old One by Miska Miles
• What does the Grandmother mean by "I will go to Mother Earth."
• How does she know this?
• How does Annie feel about her grandmother’s death?
• Why doesn’t she talk to her grandmother or mother about this?
• What does she do to prevent her grandmother’s death?
• What eventually happens?
• How does this conversation help Annie to accept her grandmother’s death?
Why do people look so different?
Materials:
Copies of the People Puzzle. (best if copied on heavy paper or light paper glued on to cardboard) Cut the pieces apart and put all 4 pieces in an envelope.
Crayons, colored pencils, markers, and other art supplies like stickers, glitter, bits of ribbon, sequins, feathers etc.
Adhesive tape
Procedure:
Begin by making sure everyone understands that a puzzle is made up of many pieces of different sizes and shapes, and that when the pieces are put together, they make an interesting whole. Point out that a puzzle isn’t complete until all the pieces have been joined together.
Randomly give each person in the family a puzzle piece. (If you have more than 4 people, do more than one puzzle.) Have each person decorate the puzzle piece(s) however he or she chooses.
When all pieces are decorated, sit in a circle and hold up your piece. Say, “I’m looking for a piece that will join with this one.” Go around the circle until you find a piece that fits.
Before putting the pieces together, you and the person with the fitting piece must name 2 ways in which you are different (ie: hair, age, height, clothing etc.) and 2 ways you are the same (both have 10 fingers, both wearing shoes, etc.)
Next, the person with the fitting piece looks for a third piece to join with the first two. Again, the two players must name 2 ways in which they are different and 2 ways in which they are the same before they fit the pieces together. The person with the third piece then looks for the fourth and so on until all the pieces of the puzzle(s) have been completed.
Fasten the puzzle pieces together with adhesive tape. Arrange the pieces along a wall or window ledge so everyone can see them all. Talk about how each piece is different. Each is unique—like the people themselves. Yet, together they make interesting and beautiful puzzles. And together your family (or group) makes an interesting and beautiful group!
Conclude by saying something like:
"Each one of us is special and one-of-a-kind. No one is exactly like anyone else. Our differences make us interesting and unique. When we learn about our differences, and when we appreciate and value our differences, this helps us get along.”
The Colors of Easter: A Read and Draw Story
Easter is the time when Christians celebrate and remember the life and death of Jesus. Most of what we know about Jesus’ life comes from four books in the Bible called the Gospels: Mark, Matthew, Luke and John. The story of Jesus’ life as told in Mark is the oldest story. The other Gospels take the basic story in Mark and add on to it in a way that makes each story of Jesus’ life a little bit different.
1. Color the flame in the drawing at right for the mystery that is Jesus, and for all the things we do not know.
One idea found in most of the stories about Jesus is that he was a very loving and caring person. The stories say Jesus stood up for people who were left out, or being picked on, and he listened to people whom others ignored. He taught others he knew to do the same.
2. Color the chalice in the window for the love and caring Jesus showed toward all people.
Another thing people remember about Jesus is his courage. He spoke out against laws and people whom he did not think were fair and kind. He disobeyed some of the laws and tried to change them. He made both friends and enemies by his teachings and actions.
3. Color the rest of the stained glass window for the strength and courage it takes to stand up for what you what you think is right.
People who agreed with Jesus became his followers. Others, who disagreed with him, potted against him. One of his followers, Judas, disagreed with him and turned him over to his enemies. Jesus was arrested and sentenced to be crucified. He was nailed to a cross and he died. Jesus’ followers were confused, sad, and scared. They didn’t know what to do.
4. Take a black crayon and color over the whole chalice window with black, for the fear and hate which causes people to do cruel things, and for the sad and painful things in life which can leave us feeling so confused and frightened that we don’t know what to do.
On the third day after Jesus died (known today as Easter Sunday), Mary Magdalene went to Jesus’ tomb and found his body was gone. Then she saw a man, who said he was Jesus, and he told her not to be afraid, that he was going to be with God. Later, other followers believed they saw Jesus, too, and Jesus told them to carry on his message by doing what he had done in his life. This is the miracle of Jesus’ resurrection, that is now celebrated on Easter Sunday. The early Christians carried on his work so it stayed alive and did not die with him.
5. Open a paper clip. Using on end, lightly scratch off the black crayon covering each section of the window, to let the colors show through again. When we really believe in something it gives us hope, and this hoe makes us strong and courageous. When we are sad and confused, sharing our memories and doing things which show our love and care for each other makes us feel better and lets our light shine through.
"The Flaming Chalice"
The flaming chalice in a circle is the symbol of Unitarian Universalism. The flaming chalice is a flame burning the holy oil of helpfulness and sacrifice–spreading warmth and light and hope. The circles in which it is contained represents the Unitarian and Universalist heritages with its concept of worldwide community.
The chalice has been a symbol of liberal religion since the fifteenth century, dating to John Hus in Transylvania. The flaming chalice was adopted by the Unitarian Service Committee in 1941. Its modern story is an interesting one.
Hans Deutsch was an Austrian refugee who lived in Paris until France was invaded in 1940. He had worked in many European countries as a musician, drafter, and portrait artist. Having contributed many cartoons with unflattering content (about Nazism) to several newspapers in Vienna, he fled Paris and finally settled in Portugal. To earn a living he gave lessons in English, one of the eight languages he spoke, and drew portraits. In Portugal, Deutsch joined the staff of the Unitarian Service Committee for six months as secretary and assistant to Dr. Charles E. Joy, then the executive director of the USC.
Dr. Joy asked his new assistant to work in his spare time on designing a symbol for the Committee. The Flaming Chalice was created in response to this request and given to the Committee by Deutsch in appreciation of its humanitarian work.
When Hans Deutsch was threatened with imprisonment in Portugal in June 1941, the USC assisted him in escaping to the United States, where he resides under the name of John H. Derrick.
Recently, the chalice was redesigned and made the official symbol of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations.
Who was Buddha? What do Buddhists Believe?
Goal:
To learn about the life of Siddhartha Guatama (Buddha) and the religion that developed from his experiences and ideas.
Activities:
Read or enact “The Story of Buddha.”
The Story of Buddha
Characters:
Siddhartha Guatama
Queen Maya
An elephant
A charioteer (Channa)
A sick man, an old man and a dead man (one person)
A monk
Siddhartha’s wife and child
A large tree
Mara, the evil spirit
Props:
an umbrella
a large tree
a belt with sword
paper flowers
cane
bathrobe
Scene 1: Buddha’s birth, 563 BCE in India
Characters: Queen Maya, elephant, Siddhartha
Props: paper flowers
One night Queen Maya had a wonderful dream in which an elephant with six tusks, carrying a lotus flower in its trunk, touched her right side. At that moment a child was miraculously conceived. When Queen Maya told her husband of this dream he called the Brahmins (or wise men) to interpret it. They predicted that a son would be born who would become either a great king or a great religious leader. His name would be Siddhartha, which means "he whose aim is accomplished." According to legend, Siddhartha later emerged as an infant from his mother’s right side, walked seven steps in the four directions of the compass and said, "No further births have I to endure, for this is my last body. Now shall I destroy and pluck out by the roots the sorrow that is caused by birth and death." According to tradition, it rained flowers at the time of Siddhartha’s birth.
Scene 2: Siddhartha grows up
Characters: Siddhartha
Props: umbrella
The King very much wanted Siddhartha to grow up to become a great king, not a religious leader. So he decided to give him everything he desired and protect him from all sorrows and trouble, so he would never want to leave the palace. The prince was never allowed to go alone outside the palace grounds. He never saw sick, injured, or old people, and he was never told of death. He learned all the arts of royalty: to shoot with a bow and arrow, drive a chariot. ride a horse. He wore silk clothes and always carried an umbrella over his head to protect him from the sun and dust. At age 16 he married a beautiful princess. In time they had a child and were very happy together.
Scene 3: The "Four Sights" that changed Siddhartha’s life
Characters: Siddhartha, Channa (charioteer), old man, monk
Props: cane, bathrobe
At age 29, Siddhartha called his faithful charioteer Channa to take him for a secret ride outside the palace grounds. As they drove through the city, Siddhartha saw three things he had never seen before. One was an old man lying on the road, groaning with pain. "What is the matter with this man?" he asked Channa. "He is sick and in pain," Channa answered. "But why should anyone have to suffer such pain?" Siddhartha asked. Channa shrugged his shoulders, "It is the way of life." And they traveled on. Soon they came to another man, all bent over and hobbling: along with a cane. "What is the matter with that man?" Siddhartha again asked. "He is old" answered Channa. "It is something that comes to all people who live a long time. Bodies become tired and weak." Finally, they came on a man in rags, Iying beside the road as if he were asleep. "What is wrong with this man?" asked Siddhartha. "He is dead," came the answer. "What does "dead" mean?" Channa answered, "I cannot tell you, but it happens to all people, rich or poor."
Later that same night, when Channa and Siddhartha returned to the city, they saw a man dressed in a yellow robe with a shaven head, begging for food. Siddhartha stopped the chariot and questioned the man, "I am a monk," he replied, "I have adopted a homeless life to win salvation. I search for the most blessed state in which suffering, old age, and death are unknown."
Scene 4: Siddhartha leaves the palace
Characters: Siddhartha, Channa, Siddhartha’s wife and child,
Props: belt with sword, bathrobe
Shocked, Siddhartha returned to the palace and thought about what he had seen. For the first time he was aware of suffering in life, and he felt he could no longer enjoy his own life of ease and riches. That very night Siddhartha decided to leave the palace. "If I were to live like one of these monks, perhaps I could learn the truth about suffering and how to end it." Silently kissing his wife and child goodbye. he asked Channa to drive him to the outskirts of the city. There he took off his jeweled sword and cut off his hair and beard. He took off his Princely clothes, put on the yellow robe of a monk, and told Channa to take his possessions back to his father.
Scene 5: Siddhartha’s wanderings
Characters: Siddhartha
For years Siddhartha wandered throughout northeast India, seeking holy men who taught him, among other things, techniques of meditation. He studied the teachings of Hinduism, the ancient religion of India. He was most interested in Samsara, or reincarnation, the idea that after death a person’s soul is born again in a new body. The common Hindu belief at the time was that only by leading a highly spiritual life (or several lives) could a person break the endless cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth. Siddhartha was attracted by this idea and he adopted a life of extreme self-denial, not eating or sleeping and meditating constantly. For six years he stayed along the bank of the Nairanjana River, eating and drinking only enough to stay alive. He was determined to force himself to this highest state of being through self-denial. But over time he only became extremely weak.
Scene 6: Under the Bo Tree
Characters: Siddhartha, evil spirit Mara, Siddhartha’s wife and child
props: large tree
One day, Siddhartha realized that his years of denial had weakened his body to the point where he could not think clearly about the world or religion. So he started to eat normally again. Refreshed by food, he sat down under a fig tree (known to Buddhists as the Bo Tree, the Tree of Enlightenment) and entered a state of very deep meditation. Buddhist scriptures say that during this meditation an evil spirit, Mara, tempted Siddhartha with all sorts of pleasures to distract him. But he was not swayed. His deep meditation continued until he had recalled all of his previous rebirths (550 previous states of existence). He gained knowledge of his cycles of births and deaths, and was able to cast off the things that bound him to the world. He had attained enlightenment, "Nirvana," the end of suffering.
From that day on Siddhartha was known as the Buddha, "the enlightened one," or "the one who has found the light." The light that Buddha found was not the kind that you see with your eyes. It was an inward light that makes you feel peaceful and helps you to think more clearly. Tradition says that when Buddha reached Nirvana, he could have cast off his body and his existence. Instead he turned back to the world, determined to share his enlightenment with others so that all living things could end the cycles of their own rebirth and suffering.
During his lifetime Buddha institutionalized his teachings by forming Sangha, a community of monks and nuns who practiced the religion and taught it to others. Buddha’s wife and son joined him in the Sangha, as well as other relatives. Today members of the Sangha continue this tradition and provide an important link with the religion’s founder.
THE END
The Story of the Birth of Jesus
Once, a long,long time ago–before you were born–another baby was born. The story is that the baby’s mother, Mary, and his father, Joseph, had to leave their home city of Nazareth and goon business to the town of Bethlehem. To go from Nazareth to Bethlehem Joseph walked, but Mary, who was going to have a child soon, rode on a little donkey. They reached Bethlehem late in the evening and went to the inn to ask for a room for the night. But the town was crowded with people, and the innkeeper told them that there was no more room at the inn, and that they would have to find another place to stay. At last Mary and Joseph found shelter in a small barn with the animals. When the baby was born that night, Mary said, "His name will be Jesus," and she wrapped him warmly and laid him in a manger. There he went to sleep.
That night there were shepherds in a field nearby looking after their sheep. And suddenly there was a bright light all about them, and an angel came to them. The shepherds were afraid, but the angel said, " Fear not, for I bring you good news for all people. On this day, there is born in Bethlehem a child, and you will find him warmly wrapped and lying in a manger." And then there were, not one angel, but many angels saying:
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward all people." And the shepherds went to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph and the baby lying in a manger.
There were also in that country three kings,who had seen a new star rise in the East and had followed it. The star seemed to come to rest just above the barn where the family was staying, and when the three kings entered there, they found Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus. The kings remembered this very first birthday of Jesus by bringing him gifts. This story is a story of long,long ago, but this year, and every year, we still remember Jesus’ birthday by giving gifts and by singing, like the angels:
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward all people."
Background for "What do UUs believe about God?"
After the list of our Unitarian Universalist principles, which include the principle of a free and responsible search for truth and meaning, and after the listing of the five sources from which we draw, which include direct experience of transcending mystery and wonder, words and deeds of prophetic women and men, wisdom from the world’s religions, Jewish and Christian teachings and humanist teachings, there is a statement which reads:
Grateful for the religious pluralism which enriches and ennobles our faith, we are inspired to deepen our understanding and expand our vision.
This statement points to one of the great truths of Unitarian Universalism: we are united and brought closer to understanding ultimate things by our belief in the value of different viewpoints. This is not just a passive kind of tolerance but rather a positive awareness that we need to hear different ideas in order to gain the broadest vision of life and its mysteries.
Unitarian Universalists hold a wide variety of views about the word "God." What some people mean by God are views which are close to the traditional Jewish or Christian beliefs; what others mean are more like the views in Eastern religions. What some mean by the word "God" are images from Goddess religion or Native American religion, others mean images from science. Other UUs don’t find the word "God" useful at all, either because it strongly signifies meanings which are no longer believed or because other words seem more relevant in explaining one’s answers to ultimate questions, words like Life, Universe, Creation, Love, Being.
The statements in the story for this session are created out of the ideas of numerous UU adults who have come to workshops or courses in connection with God Images, the curriculum for fifth and sixth graders. They are composite statements based on ideas heard over and over. Members of these groups have been asked to draw a picture of their idea of what "God" means and then to speak to the group later about the picture.
The four types of ideas represented in the story seem to be the most common. One type of picture shows natural objects: stars, sun and moon; trees, flowers, mountains and water and much use of the color green. The people who draw these say they feel close to God when they are out in natural settings. The second type of picture is usually more abstract and has a center out of which all sorts of things radiate. This type usually makes use of reds, oranges and yellows and people relate it to the Big Bang and energy and power. The third type has a person or people in it who often are holding hands.
Sometimes they have a red heart, on which is written "God." The people who draw these speak of connectedness and caring. The fourth type is more mystical and in some way combines images from the first three. There are, of course, other types of wonderfully creative drawings depicting the variety of UUs’ views about God. Children love to hear adults tell them about their beliefs on the kind of profound issues which are God questions. Encourage them to talk with their parents or other adults about their ideas about God.
Helping Children with Allowances and Savings
Children Saving Money
In Newale S. Godfrey’s book, Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children (Fireside Books, 1994), the author makes the following points:
Saving money is essentially a discipline that youngsters must be taught just like brushing their teeth or doing their homework. She offers a three-step process for teaching children how to save money.
We save money for three reasons: first, for protection in case of an emergency; second, for retirement; and third, to buy something we really want. For younger children, she suggests that you approach with the third reason(to save for something they really want to buy.
The principles for inspiring anyone to save money are the same for youngsters age six to sixteen:
1. Provide your children with the tools to save. They must have a source of money of their own to save.
2. Provide the proper environment where the children can safely keep the money saved. This can be a piggy bank or toy safe.
Monitor the activity and provide encouragement. Set attainable goals and then reward your children with praise for successfully saving the money.
Allowances: When and How Much
To learn about money management, youngsters must have real money on their own to manage. Rather than handing youngsters a sizable sum of money, or doling it out a dollar at a time, a weekly allowance gives children a source of income that they can learn to make decisions about.
It has been debated whether this weekly money should be tied to chores. Yes, yes, yes! In addition to using an allowance to teach money management, this weekly sum will also show your children the relationship between work (chores) and money (allowance), clearly an important concept. Not only will the children someday work for money, but earning an allowance will underscore the fact that you, the parent, work hard for your money, too.
Once you’ve decided that an allowance is a useful teaching tool and that your children are ready to begin “earning and learning,” then you need to formulate a starting “salary.” For my own two children, I started them on an allowance when they were 3 and 6 years old. I used an easy rule of thumb: their allowance was the same number of dollars as their age. I’ve continued to use this rule as they’ve grown.
Many people’s first reaction is that three dollars is a lot of money for a three-year-old. Let me explain what you and your youngsters will be doing with this money. There are three basic areas of money management we will be working on. I call it my S. O. S. system. Briefly, they are:
1. Savings. Some portion of the allowance needs to be allotted for both short-term savings, like for a special toy or outing, and long-term savings, such as for a bicycle or college fund.
2. Offerings. This is a small amount of money set aside for donation to charity or to the less fortunate. However small the sum, it is a valuable way for a parent to teach personal values through money by showing the children how to share their good fortune.
3. Spending. Depending on the budget you develop with your children, part of their spending money may go to cover specific expenses. It can range from lunch money or bus fare for young ones, to total management of a year’s clothing budget for more sophisticated teenagers. At any age, however, there needs to be some money that is the children’s discretionary fund to spend as they wish (with whatever limitations you set—for example, no drugs).
I believe in assigning specific chores that each child does weekly to earn the allowance. In my household, we have two kinds of chores: personal maintenance (like keeping one’s bedroom free from fire hazards) and general household chores (such as setting the table or dusting the living room furniture). Payment of the allowance is based on the latter. Each child has specific chores that must be completed each week before the allowance is paid . . .
Here is where children should be in terms of financial independence at different ages:
Ages 3–9: Allowance
Ages 10–15: Allowance supplemented by outside jobs (baby-sitting, yard work, etc.).
Ages 16 and up: Teenagers’ outside jobs cover expenses like dating and gas. All basic necessities are funded by parents in an account the teenagers control.
Additionally, a parent should have certain odd jobs available to the youngster who wants to supplement their allowance the same way some employers offer overtime pay. Make a list of the not-urgent jobs you need done with the “overtime” fee you would pay, and post it on the refrigerator. Then, when your offspring asks for a second pair of designer sneakers or money to go ice skating with friends, refer to the list.
Source: Parenting for Peace and Justice Newsletter, Issue Number 65, December 1994
