Background for "What do UUs believe about God?"
After the list of our Unitarian Universalist principles, which include the principle of a free and responsible search for truth and meaning, and after the listing of the five sources from which we draw, which include direct experience of transcending mystery and wonder, words and deeds of prophetic women and men, wisdom from the world’s religions, Jewish and Christian teachings and humanist teachings, there is a statement which reads:
Grateful for the religious pluralism which enriches and ennobles our faith, we are inspired to deepen our understanding and expand our vision.
This statement points to one of the great truths of Unitarian Universalism: we are united and brought closer to understanding ultimate things by our belief in the value of different viewpoints. This is not just a passive kind of tolerance but rather a positive awareness that we need to hear different ideas in order to gain the broadest vision of life and its mysteries.
Unitarian Universalists hold a wide variety of views about the word "God." What some people mean by God are views which are close to the traditional Jewish or Christian beliefs; what others mean are more like the views in Eastern religions. What some mean by the word "God" are images from Goddess religion or Native American religion, others mean images from science. Other UUs don’t find the word "God" useful at all, either because it strongly signifies meanings which are no longer believed or because other words seem more relevant in explaining one’s answers to ultimate questions, words like Life, Universe, Creation, Love, Being.
The statements in the story for this session are created out of the ideas of numerous UU adults who have come to workshops or courses in connection with God Images, the curriculum for fifth and sixth graders. They are composite statements based on ideas heard over and over. Members of these groups have been asked to draw a picture of their idea of what "God" means and then to speak to the group later about the picture.
The four types of ideas represented in the story seem to be the most common. One type of picture shows natural objects: stars, sun and moon; trees, flowers, mountains and water and much use of the color green. The people who draw these say they feel close to God when they are out in natural settings. The second type of picture is usually more abstract and has a center out of which all sorts of things radiate. This type usually makes use of reds, oranges and yellows and people relate it to the Big Bang and energy and power. The third type has a person or people in it who often are holding hands.
Sometimes they have a red heart, on which is written "God." The people who draw these speak of connectedness and caring. The fourth type is more mystical and in some way combines images from the first three. There are, of course, other types of wonderfully creative drawings depicting the variety of UUs’ views about God. Children love to hear adults tell them about their beliefs on the kind of profound issues which are God questions. Encourage them to talk with their parents or other adults about their ideas about God.
Why do people look so different?
Materials:
Copies of the People Puzzle. (best if copied on heavy paper or light paper glued on to cardboard) Cut the pieces apart and put all 4 pieces in an envelope.
Crayons, colored pencils, markers, and other art supplies like stickers, glitter, bits of ribbon, sequins, feathers etc.
Adhesive tape
Procedure:
Begin by making sure everyone understands that a puzzle is made up of many pieces of different sizes and shapes, and that when the pieces are put together, they make an interesting whole. Point out that a puzzle isn’t complete until all the pieces have been joined together.
Randomly give each person in the family a puzzle piece. (If you have more than 4 people, do more than one puzzle.) Have each person decorate the puzzle piece(s) however he or she chooses.
When all pieces are decorated, sit in a circle and hold up your piece. Say, “I’m looking for a piece that will join with this one.” Go around the circle until you find a piece that fits.
Before putting the pieces together, you and the person with the fitting piece must name 2 ways in which you are different (ie: hair, age, height, clothing etc.) and 2 ways you are the same (both have 10 fingers, both wearing shoes, etc.)
Next, the person with the fitting piece looks for a third piece to join with the first two. Again, the two players must name 2 ways in which they are different and 2 ways in which they are the same before they fit the pieces together. The person with the third piece then looks for the fourth and so on until all the pieces of the puzzle(s) have been completed.
Fasten the puzzle pieces together with adhesive tape. Arrange the pieces along a wall or window ledge so everyone can see them all. Talk about how each piece is different. Each is unique—like the people themselves. Yet, together they make interesting and beautiful puzzles. And together your family (or group) makes an interesting and beautiful group!
Conclude by saying something like:
"Each one of us is special and one-of-a-kind. No one is exactly like anyone else. Our differences make us interesting and unique. When we learn about our differences, and when we appreciate and value our differences, this helps us get along.”
Discussion Questions
The Fall of Freddy the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia
• How does Freddie know that summer is coming to an end?
• How do the leaves feel as the wind begins to tug at their stems?
• Why do you think Freddie doesn’t get scared when spring passes into summer, or summer into
fall?
• How do you feel when Daniel lets go?
• When you look at the pictures in this book, what signs indicate that the seasons are changing?
• What happens to the leaves once they fall to the ground?
• What is the meaning of the last two words of the story?
• How does this story relate to the UU principle that says "We need to take care of the earth, the
home we share with all living things"?
Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
• People have at least one thing in common with any living object. What is it?
• What do we call the period between birth and death?
• Why is the lifetime of a bird different from the lifetime of a tree?
• What else affects how long something or somebody will live?
• What happens when an insect dies? A field mouse? A family pet?
• How does this story relate to the UU principle that says "We need to take care of the earth, the
home we share with all living things"?
Annie and the Old One by Miska Miles
• What does the Grandmother mean by "I will go to Mother Earth."
• How does she know this?
• How does Annie feel about her grandmother’s death?
• Why doesn’t she talk to her grandmother or mother about this?
• What does she do to prevent her grandmother’s death?
• What eventually happens?
• How does this conversation help Annie to accept her grandmother’s death?
The Grumps
Once upon a time there was a family of Grumps. Papa Grump, Mama Grump, Sister Grump, and Brother Grump. Everyday they would grump at each other from morning to night.
Papa grumped at breakfast, “My porridge is too hot!”
Brother grumped at lunch, “My soup is too cold!”
Sister grumped at dinner, “It’s no fair. Brother got a bigger piece of cake than me!”
As for Mama Grump, she would roll her eyes, bang the plates down hard, and grumble, “If you don’t like what you’ve got, go fix it yourself!”
No one ever said, “Thank you!” No one ever said, “Please!” No one ever said, “I’m sorry!”
As you can imagine, all that grumping had a terrible effect upon the Grumps looks. Their faces were wrinkled up sourly, as if they’d been sucking on lemons. Their hair stuck out in all different directions because of their pulling at it in fits of temper. When they walked, their heads hung down so low, all they could see were their belly buttons; so every other step they would bump into something, getting scrapes and bruises on top of scrapes and bruises. It’s no wonder the Grumps hardly ever looked at each other.
The Grumps lived in the middle of a dense and gloomy woods. Under the great trees night and day seemed almost the same, except for the chill that night brought with it. Mama Grump often warned Brother and Sister not to wander away from the house, because they could get lost so easily in the dark tangle of trees and underbrush.
One morning Sister was feeling particularly grumpy. Brother Grump had stepped on her mud pie, because she had broken his stick, because he said, “You smell!” because she had sat on him thinking he was a mossy rock. Sister decided that she was going to leave her family to go wherever she pleased on her own.
So she headed into the woods muttering to herself, tripping over tree roots, scraping against pricker bushes, and aimlessly wandering this way and that, until her head bumped up against a tree. “Waaaaaah!” Sister stumbled, fell backwards, and landed hard on her sitter. She looked up ready to let loose a terrible grump at the tree, when “huh!” she saw something she had never seen. Before her was a small clearing, and stretching from the tops of the trees to the patch of ground in front of her were bright shafts of light.
Sister forgot all about her grumble. Looking into the brightness she could see the green of leaves, the yellow and blue of flowers, and a sudden flash of red as a bird flew past. She picked herself up and lurched forward into the light, feeling its warmth upon her.
In the middle of the clearing sister stumbled upon a spring. As she peered down into the calm water at its edge, she was startled by a dirty, twisted face peering back at her. At first she drew back, but then she realized the face was her own. Full of wonder, she began to smooth back her hair, and wash the dirt off her skin. Ever so slowly, her mouth untwisted and began to curve up at the corners while a good feeling warmed inside her.
Suddenly Sister wanted her family with her. She hurried back through the darkness and prickers trying to remember the way she had come. She would surely have been lost forever if her family’s grumping hadn’t been so loud, penetrating even the darkest and densest of thickets. Led on by her Papa’s roar, “Who’s been sitting in my chair?” she reached the house at last.
Sister rushed through the door. In her haste she knocked over Brother’s chair, and one of its rockers came off. “Look, my chair’s all broken! Sister did it!” Brother wailed.
“I’m sorry!” said Sister.
Mama, Papa, and Brother all stopped and stared at her in surprise. There she was all smiling and shining at them like she’d discovered the bees secret for making honey.
Somehow Sister managed to lead her family back through the tangled darkness to the clearing of light. Perhaps it was the red bird who signalled the way. Finally, there the Grumps were; blinking in the bright light, surprised by beauty, and warmed to their forgotten hearts. It wasn’t long before Papa, Mama, Brother, and Sister were all splashing and preening in the spring water, delighted with themselves and each other.
From that day on the Grumps made their home in the light. They held their heads up when they walked, hardly ever tripped, and looked upon each other with new warmth. They said, “Thank you!” “Please!’ and “I’m sorry!” quite often. In fact they were no longer Grumps. On their mailbox they printed in neat letters “Smith.”
Background for What is Easter?
This session focuses on the most important theological concepts in Christianity–the crucifixion and the resurrection, For almost 2,000 years people have struggled to understand their significance. The most common interpretation of the crucifixion and resurrection is that Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice for the sins of humanity, so that individuals might experience the saving grace of God and his living presence in their midst. This is a very difficult concept for first and second graders, and it may not represent the views of their parents or their Unitarian Universalist congregation. The story in this session is condensed in narrative form without seeking to interpret the meaning of the events.
Though our children have heard the story of Jesus’ birth and some of his teachings, this may be the first time the death of Jesus and the miracle of his victory over death have been addressed with them directly. It is a rich and meaningful story on many levels, and children will need time to talk about it and ask their own questions.
Although death has been addressed before in this program (All Souls’ Day), the focus on death is more intense in this session. It is Jesus who is being put to death, and the children may recognize that this is a very important story about an important person.
As children listen to today’s story, it is possible that some personal sorrow may be evoked, such as the death of a significant person in a child’s life. Reassure children that sad feelings are an important part of our lives–that no one goes through life without some sorrow. Reassure them also that there are adults who care about them and who can help them through the painful times. If any child seems to need special attention, be sure to alert a parent, your minister, or your religious educator, so that additional help may be offered if necessary.
Many Unitarian Universalists depart from Christian tradition in their beliefs about the events that make up the Easter story, such as the bodily resurrection of Jesus. The word "resurrection" means coming back to life after death. Most Christians believe that Jesus was resurrected and that he came back to life after he died. Most Unitarian Universalists believe that Jesus died and his body did not come back to life. Even so, all of us can find deep meaning in the idea that those we love live on in our memories and that renewal or rebirth is available to us during our lifetime.
The date for the annual celebration of Easter is tied to both the historical event of the stories of Jesus’ death and resurrection, according to Christian theology, and to factors associated with the spring equinox and spring festivals. In Western Christianity, Easter is on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox. In Eastern Christianity, Easter is on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox or after the end of Passover, whichever is later.
The biblical references for the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus are: Matthew 27-28, Mark 15-16, Luke 23-24, John 18-20, and I Corinthians 15.
Family Stewardship
We define stewardship as the act of caring for our congregation, our community, and the Unitarian Universalist movement. People care in various ways: by giving of their time, by sharing their talents, and by contributing financial resources (a.k.a. treasure). Unitarian Universalists have a long, rich history of contributing to their congregations, their communities, and the world. This important aspect of our congregational life begins with the role model of good stewardship in the home. Examining how we spend our time and money as families may help us evaluate how we can be good stewards in the congregation as well.
“For a child to develop into a functional adult and good citizen of the world, the family must mirror society. Volunteering helps kids learn that service—not self-interest—holds our world together.”
As family counselor John K. Rosemond states in his article “Volunteering For Kids,” parents can begin teaching the social value of volunteerism by assigning simple daily household chores to children as young as three years old. Such children learn that being a member of a family involves not just sharing the family’s wealth, but also its work. Parents can impress upon children the importance of community service with a simple civics lesson: without volunteer support, there would be no community sports programs, no scouting, no 4-H, no homeless shelters, and no summer programs at the local Y. By including children in community and congregational service activities, parents can teach that one person can make a difference in this world. Guiding a younger child toward compatible community service requires that parents help the child answer the following questions: What are my interests? What do I really enjoy? What’s something I’ve always wanted to do? Would I prefer working with large or small groups? Indoors or out? What problems in my community or congregation need solutions?
Jim and Kathy McGinnis, founders and directors of the Institute for Peace and Justice, list seven ways to teach our children stewardship in their newsletter, Parenting for Peace & Justice:
Tithing for the congregation. Children can give a percentage of the weekly allowance.
World Bank donations. This program is similar to the UU Guest at Your Table Box.
Shalom Box appeal letters. Decorate a shoe box and use it to store appeal letters received from charities. At quarterly family meetings, discuss which letters to honor and what amount to give.
Split our energy savings. Encourage family members to turn lights out, lower thermostats, and save energy in other ways. Then, spend half the money saved on a fund for those who need utility bill assistance. (The other half can go toward a family event.)
Alternative gifts. Encourage children to be generous with their time and talents by making their own birthday and holiday gifts.
Exposure to hurting people. Prepare, serve and eat meals at a local agency, visit shut-ins, travel and work in countries with poor people.
Discussing our will. Explain to children that groups working with hurting children will receive the same bequest as each of them.
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To assist you in exploring these issues in more depth, we’ve attached reprints of two articles—“Children, Money and Values: Ten Principles” by Susan Vogt, and “Helping Children with Allowances and Savings,” from Parenting for Peace and Justice Newsletter.
Background for "God is Like a Father"
The metaphor of God as father is a familiar one to those of us raised in Jewish or Christian cultures. For many Unitarian Universalists it now is viewed in a negative way for it is a potent symbol of the patriarchal bias of religions which use it exclusively to describe the gender of God. As Mary Daly said in her book Beyond God the Father, "…if God is male, then the male is God." (p. 19). It represents the belief that ultimate reality and ultimate values have only masculine qualities and so then it logically follows that feminine qualities are of Iesser importance. Obviously, this is not a belief that Unitarian Universalists can hold.
In righting this wrong, many of us, men as well as women, now are consciously choosing to search out and promote feminine images of the divine. At the very least, we are no longer using masculine pronouns for God in an exclusive way and we are making sure to include images and concepts reflective of a feminine God. Ultimately though, we do not want to promote exclusively feminine images of God, either. It is hoped that it will be possible for our young children who are just developing their concepts of what the word God means, to grow up understanding God to be both like a mother and like a father, to have both masculine and feminine qualities.
It is important to use the story, Mother of Us All, and this story, God is Like a Father, one after the other, if at all possible, in order to reenforce the idea that God can be like both a mother or a father. Unfortunately, many congregations cannot always count on all of the children in a class being there in a regular way. For those who miss one or the other of these sessions, it might be important to briefly tell them about the story they did not hear.
The relationship of father to child is familiar and so there will be many associations with it. Jesus used this image to reflect a relationship to the ultimate which honored the transcendence of God yet retained an intimacy. Many of us can identify with this relationship in a positive way because we had a positive relationship with our fathers. However, for some of us, this image might instead reflect unhappy memories of absent or abusive fathers. This, of course, can be said, also, of the metaphor of God as a mother. This possibility is not a reason to decline to use these images, in general, for there can be negative nuances to any image of God for certain individuals, but do be sensitive to these possibilities in the conversations with your group of children.
Although the image of God as a father was occasionally used by Jeremiah and Isaiah in the Hebrew Bible, Jesus stems to have found it especially appealing and it gains much more prominence in the Christian Bible. Talking to God as you would to a father, instead of as a lord, allows the conversation to be much more personal and intimate.
Jesus’ teachings reflected what such conversations with God bad revealed to him. He told his listeners that God loved them as a father would love his children. He told them that what their "Heavenly Father" wanted of them could be summed up in what is called the Great Commandment (Matt 22:39, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:27): love God and love your neighbors as yourselves. He also told them that God wanted them to forgive others of their wrongdoing just as God would forgive them. The prayer called the "Lord’s Prayer", or more often now "The Prayer of Jesus", (Matt 6:9-13, Luke 11:2-4) is another summary of Jesus’ beliefs about the relationship between God and people. The metaphor of God as a father implies that people are God’s children and since God is the father of all, all are therefore members of one family. The teachings of Jesus that tell us to love, care for and forgive one another follow from this image of humanity as one family.
These images are supported by the UU Principle that urges us to affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every person and by the UU Source which uses Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God’s love by loving our neighbors as ourselves.
A Free People
Long, long ago, the Hebrew people were slaves in Egypt. They were forced to make bricks out of straw and mud for the Egyptian Pharaoh (the king) for the large pyramids and monuments he was building. They worked hard and long and the pharaoh’s soldiers were very cruel to them. A man called Moses heard a voice speak to him from a burning bush. The voice told him to go to the pharaoh and tell him that God said he was to free the Hebrews and let them leave Egypt.
Many times, Moses went to the pharaoh.Every time, the pharaoh said the Hebrews could leave. And every time, he went back on his word.Many plagues–storms, blood, hailstones, frogs,wild animals–befell the Egyptians and with each plague, the pharaoh said the Hebrews could leave. Then when the storm or the terrible happening was over, he changed his mind again.
Finally, Moses told the pharaoh that if he did not let the Hebrews go, a tenth plague would happen to the Egyptians and it would be the worst of all. An angel of death would come and kill all the first-born children of the Egyptians.The pharaoh was frightened and said that the Hebrews could leave Egypt.
Moses told the Hebrews to kill a lamb and paint some of its blood on the doorposts of their homes. When the Angel of Death came, it would pass over the homes whose doorposts were painted with blood and their children would not be killed. The Hebrews began to make bread for their journey, but before the bread had time to rise, they started off, for they were afraid the pharaoh would change his mind again and not let them go.
All of the Hebrews followed Moses. They walked to the edge of the Red Sea, and there a great miracle happened. The waters spread apart so that the Hebrews could pass through to the other side. The pharaoh did change his mind,and sent his soldiers after them. But when the soldiers reached the sea, the waters closed over again. The Hebrews were safe! They sang songs of joy. They were free once again! Many years later, the Hebrews came to be called Jews.
Each year the Jews celebrate the holiday of Passover to remember the time when they became a free people. This is the special ceremony of the Passover Seder.
The Gift of Color
This story is new. It was written for you.
Imagine a time long ago when things were just getting started. The first flowers were blooming; the first birds were building their nests high in the branches of sheltering trees; girls and boys, men and women setting up their first families and homes. These are the things that you might have seen if it wasn’t so dark. No one could see, because it was the first night, and the first day hadn’t happened yet.
The First People could hear the wind whining in the trees, and the birds twittering and whistling. It was so dark they couldn’t see anything, but the First People were too busy to worry about the dark. They were thinking about all the first things they would need to live beyond that first night. The First People were working so hard that they really didn’t care that they couldn’t see each other in the dark. As they spoke, they would turn their bodies toward sounds of voices that didn’t have faces.
When the sun finally rose on that first morning, the whole world looked like it was made of glass. [Show the cellophane wrap on the frame.] One by one the First People realized they still couldn’t see anything. Their faces and muscles and bones were all clear. Light passed straight through their bodies to the clear ground below. The sky was clear. The trees, birds, flowers, and rocks were all as clear as glass.
Finally, one of the First Children broke the silence. "I have eyes to see with," the child cried. "But there’s nothing to see" One of the adults tried to comfort the child, but the First People were all sad.
"What will we do?" one woman said. "Last night we planned to gather the tall grass that rustles in the breeze. We planned to bend and fold, and twist and tie that grass to make the first baskets. Then, we were going to go down to the river, which we hear moving past us, to collect baskets full of water, so all the First People could have a drink."
" Oh-hh-hh," moaned a thirsty man. "How will you find the grass if you can’t see it’ How will you know if you’ve made a tight basket if you can’t see your work? How will you find your way to the water and back?"
The First People were very creative and solved all these problems, one by one. Holding hands, they formed a human chain to make a trail to the tall grass. They took small, careful steps, never knowing when clear grass might give way to clear rocks or clear tree stumps. Once the human chain was finally in place, the person on the end felt carefully for one long, thick blade of grass, pulled it out of the ground and passed it to the next person, who passed it to the next, until the blade of grass reached the last person in line. [You could have the children close their eyes and pass a long blade of grass around the circle.]
After the grass had been plucked, several First People started weaving baskets, feeling their work with their fingers to find even the tiniest holes that would let water out. Finally they had a few baskets that could hold water. Once again all the First People formed a human chain and worked their way to the river. When a basket was passed to the last man in line, he dipped it carefully into the river he couldn’t see and pulled it up full of water. The First People breathed a sigh of relief when the man shouted, "It’s holding! It’s holding! And so it was that the First People shared their first drink of water.
The First People had been hard at work all day, and they’d only accomplished one thing–getting a drink! Although the First People had plenty to drink, they had nothing to eat, and they all went to sleep hungry.
When the sun came up again, nothing had changed, except the First People were more worried about how to take care of themselves in a world where nothing could be seen. As the day passed, the First Women and Men planned ways to collect food. A First Child who was playing found something hard–a rock, a crystal-clear rock. She tossed the rock up in the air and it twinkled in the sun. The child held it up for her mother to see. Stretching out her clear arm, with the clear rock in her clear hand, something happened. Stripes of something not-clear showed on her face and reflected on the ground below. [Demonstrate with a prism.]
When the girl’s mother saw the stripes of something not-clear, she called the others around. The First People were excited as they felt on the ground for more clear stones that would make those seven wonderful not-clear stripes. The girl’s mother decided to name the stripes. Pointing to each in turn she called out, "Red! Orange! Yellow! Green! Blue! Indigo! Violet! " The First People played with the stripes until the sun set.
On the third morning, a gentle rain fell. The First People set out their baskets to catch the rain and talked again about how to gather food. They almost didn’t notice when the rain stopped and the sun came out. Looking up, the First People saw above them the same not-clear stripes they had played with the day before: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. As the sun grew brighter, the stripes glowed stronger.
Suddenly one man said, "What if we take our baskets and form a line to the stripes? Can we bring the red, orange, and yellow home? Can we pass green and blue, indigo and violet down the line, and use the stripes to make our world not-clear?"
No one knew the answers, but everyone was willing to try. They formed a human chain so long it led straight to the stripes in the sky. At the head of the line was the woman who had named the stripes. She filled the baskets and passed them back down the line. As she turned with the last basket full of violet, the First People gasped. All the beautiful colors were dripping out of the baskets! But the groans soon turned to cheers, for when the very first drop fell to the earth, it colored a flower a brilliant shade of red. The next drop caught a bird’s wing in flight. The whole world came alive in shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Trees appeared, and blue and yellow mingled to color the grasses green.
The First People were so busy watching their world change that they almost forgot that they were still as clear as glass. Suddenly a man tossed his basket of indigo high over-head and ran down the line of First People to await the shower of color below. Others followed his lead. Soon all the First People were playing with the colors falling from the sky. They rolled in the green grass and hugged gray tree trunks. They chased orange butter- flies and marveled at purple flowers. All the colors were still quite wet, and a bit of each rubbed off on everybody. When the colors finally dried, the First People found that they were all different colors. Some were warm, dark brown like the earth. Others were the color of honey, or shades of rose and burnished bronze mingled together. Some were pink all over, and others were touched by the yellow of the sun and golden buttercups.
They were thankful for this blessing of color. Now they could see the color of ripe apples and the blush of juicy peaches, and gather good food to eat. They could see the river run, birds fly, and fish swim. They could walk with their heads held high, their eyes seeking the best path. And they could learn from everything they could see.
When they looked at each other and saw all the beautiful colors of the First People, they were especially happy, and never wanted to be in a world without color again.
Helping Children with Allowances and Savings
Children Saving Money
In Newale S. Godfrey’s book, Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children (Fireside Books, 1994), the author makes the following points:
Saving money is essentially a discipline that youngsters must be taught just like brushing their teeth or doing their homework. She offers a three-step process for teaching children how to save money.
We save money for three reasons: first, for protection in case of an emergency; second, for retirement; and third, to buy something we really want. For younger children, she suggests that you approach with the third reason(to save for something they really want to buy.
The principles for inspiring anyone to save money are the same for youngsters age six to sixteen:
1. Provide your children with the tools to save. They must have a source of money of their own to save.
2. Provide the proper environment where the children can safely keep the money saved. This can be a piggy bank or toy safe.
Monitor the activity and provide encouragement. Set attainable goals and then reward your children with praise for successfully saving the money.
Allowances: When and How Much
To learn about money management, youngsters must have real money on their own to manage. Rather than handing youngsters a sizable sum of money, or doling it out a dollar at a time, a weekly allowance gives children a source of income that they can learn to make decisions about.
It has been debated whether this weekly money should be tied to chores. Yes, yes, yes! In addition to using an allowance to teach money management, this weekly sum will also show your children the relationship between work (chores) and money (allowance), clearly an important concept. Not only will the children someday work for money, but earning an allowance will underscore the fact that you, the parent, work hard for your money, too.
Once you’ve decided that an allowance is a useful teaching tool and that your children are ready to begin “earning and learning,” then you need to formulate a starting “salary.” For my own two children, I started them on an allowance when they were 3 and 6 years old. I used an easy rule of thumb: their allowance was the same number of dollars as their age. I’ve continued to use this rule as they’ve grown.
Many people’s first reaction is that three dollars is a lot of money for a three-year-old. Let me explain what you and your youngsters will be doing with this money. There are three basic areas of money management we will be working on. I call it my S. O. S. system. Briefly, they are:
1. Savings. Some portion of the allowance needs to be allotted for both short-term savings, like for a special toy or outing, and long-term savings, such as for a bicycle or college fund.
2. Offerings. This is a small amount of money set aside for donation to charity or to the less fortunate. However small the sum, it is a valuable way for a parent to teach personal values through money by showing the children how to share their good fortune.
3. Spending. Depending on the budget you develop with your children, part of their spending money may go to cover specific expenses. It can range from lunch money or bus fare for young ones, to total management of a year’s clothing budget for more sophisticated teenagers. At any age, however, there needs to be some money that is the children’s discretionary fund to spend as they wish (with whatever limitations you set—for example, no drugs).
I believe in assigning specific chores that each child does weekly to earn the allowance. In my household, we have two kinds of chores: personal maintenance (like keeping one’s bedroom free from fire hazards) and general household chores (such as setting the table or dusting the living room furniture). Payment of the allowance is based on the latter. Each child has specific chores that must be completed each week before the allowance is paid . . .
Here is where children should be in terms of financial independence at different ages:
Ages 3–9: Allowance
Ages 10–15: Allowance supplemented by outside jobs (baby-sitting, yard work, etc.).
Ages 16 and up: Teenagers’ outside jobs cover expenses like dating and gas. All basic necessities are funded by parents in an account the teenagers control.
Additionally, a parent should have certain odd jobs available to the youngster who wants to supplement their allowance the same way some employers offer overtime pay. Make a list of the not-urgent jobs you need done with the “overtime” fee you would pay, and post it on the refrigerator. Then, when your offspring asks for a second pair of designer sneakers or money to go ice skating with friends, refer to the list.
Source: Parenting for Peace and Justice Newsletter, Issue Number 65, December 1994
