Goal:
To better understand the reason for death rituals.

Preparation:
1. Locate one of the following books in your local library:
• The Happy Funeral by Eve Bunting
• Grandpa’s Slide Show by Deborah Gould
• Saying Good-bye to Grandma by Jane Resh Thomas

2. Read background information from Lessons of Loss on different religious and cultural beliefs and practices regarding the afterlife and rituals for mourning, including a section on UU beliefs and theology.

Activities:
• Read your selected book.

• Use the questions below to stimulate discussion.

• Summarize by saying that many people find it difficult to accept the reality of a death, especially when the deceased is much beloved and significant in the mourner’s life. However, death rituals, such as wakes, funerals, and sitting Shiva (a Jewish tradition), help to make the death more real and to enable the mourner to adjust to a world in which the deceased is physically not present. Use material from the background information as appropriate to your situation.

Questions for discussion:

The Happy Funeral
• How does Laura’s family prepare for the funeral?
• What happens at the funeral home?
• How does Laura feel as she attends her grandfather’s funeral?
• What rituals are included in the funeral?
• What do you think the family gains from holding a funeral?

Grandpa’s Slide Show
• Why do people bring food to the house after Grandpa dies?
• Why does Dad say that at the funeral, “we’ll need to act calm”? What happens there? How do people react?
• What happens after the funeral?
• What do Sam and Douglas learn about attending a funeral?

Saying Good-bye to Grandma
• How did Suzie feel about seeing her grandmother’s body at the wake? What was it like when she got there?
• What happened during the funeral?
• Where did Suzie and her family go after the funeral service?
• Why did everyone go back to the church for dinner?
• How do you think Suzie felt at the end of the day? Do you think she was glad she went to the funeral? Why or why not?