REsources for Living
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I like to think of our theme of Possibilities in terms of walking on a winding path through the woods. There are hills and valleys, twists and turns, and you never know when you might come upon a beautiful vista or the call of an unknown bird. There are endless delights, just waiting to be discovered.
What I prefer not to think about is that there are, of course, also endless pitfalls. There is always the possibility that what waits around the corner is a rattlesnake, or a rock where you will trip and fall, or a nest of angry hornets. Possibility doesn’t really imply anything about good or bad, welcome or unwelcome. It just means that we don’t know what we’re going to get.
Which can be deeply unsettling. When we don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s very hard to know how to behave, what to do. If the possibilities in front of us are beautiful and exciting, well, then we should just keep marching on to discover what’s up ahead. But what if there are unknown dangers? What do we do now? Go forward? Turn back? Look for another route?
I learned a distinction the other day which I found helpful, which was the difference between fear and anxiety. Fear is a response to something in the environment which you perceive as dangerous. We are likely to feel fear if, on our hike, we suddenly come upon a bear in the middle of the path. Anxiety is what you experience when you are worried about something that might be in the environment. If you are out hiking, and you are worried that there could be a bear around every corner or behind every bush, that is anxiety.
Anxiety is a response to a continued awareness of those negative possibilities. It’s an extremely uncomfortable, and potentially disabling state to be in. Some people, for reasons of experience and/or brain chemistry struggle with anxiety much of their lives. For others, it’s an experience of the moment, before an important test or a challenging adventure.
But in the midst of a pandemic, it’s pretty much unavoidable. There is something life-threatening that is lurking, unseen, around us. People with no signs of illness can spread the disease. Surfaces we touch can look clean but not be safe. It is always potentially there, and we must take steps to protect ourselves and those we love. It is also always potentially not there. And we want to be able to live our lives to the fullest, to be in contact with people in all the ways that bring joy and meaning to our lives, as well as having to serve basic needs like making an income.
So how are we to live in the midst of this pervasive, unavoidable, totally justified anxiety? Some people respond by simply denying that the danger is there. If you don’t imagine the danger, you don’t feel the anxiety. Of course, then you also don’t take steps to protect yourself and others, so that route around anxiety can be extremely hazardous.
Other people resolve the anxiety by being as cautious as possible, avoiding all situations in which they could come near others, disinfecting groceries and mail, staying inside. Of course, many people don’t have access to even the basics needed to be safe, or are stuck in situations that are both egregiously unsafe and beyond any possibility for them to control.
There isn’t a right answer—there are a vast range of factors that affect what are reasonable choices for different people in different circumstances. It’s complicated.
Which is where being a Unitarian Universalist comes in handy. Because we are used to the answer “it’s complicated.” Do you believe in God? It’s complicated. What does it mean for a minister to be ordained, and what is their source of authority? It’s complicated. Are UUs Christian? It’s complicated. We are a faith tradition that doesn’t try to relieve anxiety by providing simple answers. We believe in the importance of science and rationality and in the power of myth and imagination. We believe in the importance of the individual and their rights and in the many complex ways we are beholden to the web of all life. It’s complicated.
I don’t have a simple solution to dealing with anxiety in a dangerous world, or a one-size-fits-all answer as to how to be both safe and connected in a world where so many of the things that I love best, like singing and dancing in community, turn out to be high risk behaviors. We all have to do our best to keep up to date on the best of what science has to tell us in the moment and match that with our personal circumstances and the needs of those around us.
But I do believe that the habit of mind that understands—even enjoys—the fact that life is complicated is key to thriving in a world full of so many possibilities, both delightful and dangerous. We don’t know what will happen. We never did. But we are on a journey that is full of beauty as well as hazard. It is good to be on the path together.
- REsources for Living - December 1, 2020
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- REsources for Living - November 1, 2020
