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Once upon a time
I rejected the concept of surrender
without hesitation or investigation Would not even risk
thinking it (surrender, indeed!)

and yet…

when I remember the exquisite shade of red my white girl farmers tan turned
the first time I began to give a speech in Mr. B’ 9th grade Communications class and how I threw up in the girls’ bathroom at the thought of having to speak publicly

when I think of how I went to the microphone at General Assembly
my first one ever
to speak in front of over a thousand delegates on behalf of those too young to vote my heart pounding so hard
that the chalice on my necklace
was bouncing on my chest

when I reflect on my ever-emerging ministry facilitating conversations with first dozens,
now thousands of folx
organizing, teaching, preaching, creating, collaborating
and always learning
about white supremacy and systemic oppression and our faithful work
on the journey of collective liberation

when I re-member of these things
I have no other word than
surrender

I surrender to the call
of love and life and liberation
of life and liberation and love
of liberation and love and life
again and again and again

Each day
we are invited to risk
holy surrender
to the call of life and love and liberation.

and

we do not have to wait to be unafraid.

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Rev. Deanna Vandiver

Deanna Vandiver is a community minister in New Orleans, LA, serving as the Executive Director for the Center for Ethical Living and Social Justice Renewal (http://www.celjsr.org).Since she accepted the call to ministry, she has not experienced one boring day.Good music, good food, and good friends have sustained her through heck and high water and she has a practice of gratitude for the wonders of this life.

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