It is June.  The trend is that day-time high temp in June will be around 110F.  July and August will be about 10F additional for each month.  In Yuma, AZ, I remember being uncomfortable at 115F.  In Kuwait, I was fascinated with how hot it was at 120F.  (Ok, short story:  As a former helicopter guy, one of the things my body has learned, while walking around a spinning helicopter, is to step sideways if I happen to walk toward the hot part of the engine exhaust plume.  I’ve done it so often, I hardly notice I am doing it.  In 2004 when I was in Kuwait – on the way to Iraq – I came out of the air-conditioned chow hall and stepped into the heat of outside.  It felt so unusually hot that I instinctively stepped sideways, thinking I would avoid some engine exhaust.   Of course there were no engines nearby – it’s just that hot out there.)  We’ll see how Afghanistan shapes up.  It surprises me that the locals wear what looks like such heavy clothing .

This week I did a lot of good traveling and got out to some of the “two-tent” patrol bases.  One of the things about Marines is that the less they have, the less they tend to complain about.  They seem to just decide to make the best of it.  I usually try to take some care packages out to them when I go.  This time, we delivered better than any care package I could bring them.  Each little patrol base got a generator and an air-conditioner – a big one.  They’re going to think they are at the Ritz Carlton.  At the end of June, we will try for a morale boosting flap-jack breakfast including at the small bases – flapjacks by backpack (honestly we ride in trucks).  Thank you all for your generosity in making this possible.

RP and I put a lot of work into the USO tent last week before we started traveling.  This week we finished it off.  We built a home-made couch.  It is slightly reclined with an ergonomically contoured bench.  We found some shipping foam for the bench.  Old tent crates were attached together to make shelf towers and an entertainment center.  This Friday, movie night will be on our brand new 27 inch TV.  Thanks again to those who sent kettle corn for the pop corn cooker.  We have a small café set up to one side and a 300-book library and care package distribution to the other side.  There is also a United Through Reading recording studio where Marines and Sailor can record themselves reading a book to their children.  Air conditioning to follow.  We converted the front door-flap into a solid wooden door with hinges.

This brings me to what feels like a moment of heresy.  This war has been going on for a decade now.  People have been sending care packages out here for ten years – most of it gets eaten.  Some of the thicker novels however, are difficult to chew.  So after the books are read, they get put in a giant box called a tri-wall.  It’s a 50 cubic foot reinforced cardboard box.  We now have one and a half tri-walls of books.  We can’t leave them behind, so many will have to be destroyed.  They were sorted by virtue of being on a best-seller list or written by a prize-winning author.  Our 300-book library is all on the “top shelf.”

Air conditioners are slowly making their way from the big bases to the smaller ones and from the large tents/buildings to the smaller ones.  In the meantime, I have rummaged through our version of Home Depot, which we call the DRMO pit.  DRMO means something like defense reutilization management office.  Like many military acronyms, its technical meaning morphs to local circumstance.  Our DRMO pit is a semi-organized pile of class-4 (wood/construction) supplies, hescoes, and things that don’t work anymore.  I hope this isn’t insider-trading, but if you haven’t got Hescoe in your retirement fund, consider it.  When there is a war, hescoe sales must go through the roof.  Hescoes are a wire frame cube with felt-lined walls.  They unfold like some sort of erector set.  They get lined up neatly, then the bulldozer fills them with dirt and you have a wall.  They come in many sizes.  So, back to the make-shift air conditioner.  I found some old rain gutter, a bent hescoe (small size), some plastic tubing from the medical staff, and a plastic trash bag.  I put it all together with zip-ties and now I have swamp-cooler.  Water from the plastic tube flows along the rain gutter to soak the sheets of felt and a desk fan helps evaporate the water.  It looks like it works, but I can’t tell for sure because my thermometer says 86F no matter what the temp is.

Obviously there are things happening all the time out here that I probably shouldn’t write about.  Keep praying thanks for body armor.  I can write pages to you about what camp life is like.  I could even tell you about the events of war.  What is harder to explain is what happens inside a person – in the deepest part of their being.  My sermons strive to touch on being prepared for our inner-being to change.  It’s likely that for most of us, we will simply go home with a significant experience behind us.  For some, the experiences jar the soul a bit more.  Because of our training, people can do things (and have to in order to survive) quickly enough that their conscience doesn’t get to weigh in fully before the action is complete.  I am grateful to Ed Tick for his book, War and the Soul, which gives words to the experiences of so many.

Some of you have heard me say before that seminary and basic training have many similarities.  Drill Instructors and CPE supervisors have a certain access to the core of who a person is.  It is interesting that in this counterinsurgency fight, the thing that we have to pay attention to most is relationships.  Maybe I am just seeing it this way because of my own formative experiences as a minister.  At this moment, and from this vantage, it seems to me that history has driven the style and conduct of war into such a small corner that the list of things we call “civilized” and the list of things we call “uncivilized” are hard to distinguish.  For example, can building a school be an act of war?  Maybe war has always been that way for humanity – a search for our best in the midst of our worst.

Church last week was nice.  We had three protestant services reaching 20 people and one Unitarian Universalist service reaching 10 people.  The movie last week was The Count of Monte Cristo – a journey through pride, vanity, despair and revenge.  This week it was Five Love Languages – relationship skill building.  Next week it will be Hollywood’s original action thriller, The Long Kiss Goodnight – a desperate, do-anything search for one woman’s missing identity.

As far as I can tell, the swamp cooler is working.  Someone buy carbon credits for me; the fan runs off a diesel generator.

Seanan

Disclaimer: All entries to CLF/Quest Military Ministries page reflect the personal views of the contributor. The views expressed here are in no way to be construed as an individual or individuals speaking in their official capacities for the agencies, departments, or service branches they serve in. This is not an official publication of the Department of Defense, the U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Air Force, any government agency, or any other organization.

Hello All,

It seems like it’s been a busy couple of weeks, although there has been some down time.  Traveling out here is a challenge.  It’s not like the bus runs on a regular schedule.  Although busses getting cut from the schedule is beginning to be as familiar in the States as out here.  Anyway, traveling with the uncertainty of when my next transportation will arrive (or when the person I am waiting for will arrive) makes it seem busy even if it isn’t.

Chow continues to be good and the plumbing continues to work.  Cross your fingers (or I’ll have to cross my legs).  And the mongoose apparently figured out not to drink the anti-freeze in the motor pool where he likes to hang out – I still see him/her/it occasionally (your concerns appreciated).  They keep telling us it will get hot out here, but thankfully it has barely broke 90F so far.  I’m sure it’s just around the corner.

The other night when I was at a different base, our mortar teams fired some rounds sometime after midnight.  The blast is fantastic, especially if you aren’t expecting it.  It shook the earth and my teeth.  There is an interesting moment of consideration when the first boom sounds – is it something that I need to worry about enough to wake up and don my flak jacket.  I waited for a few seconds and was encouraged by the light “whump” that follows the big “boom.”  The “whump” indicates a flare rather than an explosive round.  It turned out to be an illumination mission – the mortars were just firing flares so our guys could see across the valley.

We got a new chapel tent and it was moved to another part of the camp.  The old one had been there for years – since the UK occupied this position several years ago.  We had movie night last night – the audience chose Rudy over Rocky.  Popcorn and care packages were handed out.  Tomorrow the Catholic Priest will be here to lead services.  The location of the old chapel became the new spot for the gym.

Ok, gotta catch the bus.

More soon, Seanan

Disclaimer: All entries to CLF/Quest Military Ministries page reflect the personal views of the contributor. The views expressed here are in no way to be construed as an individual or individuals speaking in their official capacities for the agencies, departments, or service branches they serve in. This is not an official publication of the Department of Defense, the U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Air Force, any government agency, or any other organization.

As newlyweds (married in June at North Parish of North Andover in Massachusetts), we have done our fair share of paperwork. The process of changing names (I took her last name, if you’re curious), joining finances, and other efforts have proven to be both challenging and exciting as we start our lives as a married couple. But of all the paperwork we have completed in the past few months, the most important has been the documentation to prepare for this deployment. The system of filing paperwork as a married couple when your marriage is not recognized on the federal level leaves much to be desired.

People think that because “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) has been repealed, that gay and lesbian troops are treated equally in the military, but this is far from the truth. The system is simply not equipped to deal with the variance in state and federal marriage laws, or accommodate same-sex partners of servicemembers. Needless to say, I see this not only as a personal issue, but also as a civil rights issue, and one that reflects our need for reform as a society. This is an issue of justice and equality.

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I am a military wife.

This is an identity I never anticipated claiming. The daughter of a father who was drafted during Vietnam, I have not always held the military in the highest esteem. Even when I worked at the VA with veterans of all ages, I did not envision myself as married to a servicemember in a million years! I have always respected military servicemembers, and appreciated their service. But to be honest, I really had no interest in being part of that system! And yet, years later, I claim this identity with admiration and appreciation for my spouse and her commitment to service as a Captain in the United States Air Force Reserve.

Life works in mysterious ways, and is constantly stretching me. When I fell in love with Susan, it became clear that the military would become part of my life. While this is not always easy, I know that her status as a “future-minister’s wife” is no walk in the park either! But each of us feels called to our vocations, and it is amazing to have a partner who understands what it feels like to be called. And, as a friend of mine described perfectly, it is a voluntary military and a voluntary marriage. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.

I write this entry at the beginning of a new journey for us, one week after Susan began a 6-month deployment to Afghanistan. This deployment came as a bit of a surprise to us, as it was originally planned to start in October. Needless to say, it has been an adjustment to have her away. But life is one big adjustment, isn’t it? Just when we feel comfortable somewhere or with someone, things shift. What a ride!

And so, I have joined the ranks of thousands of other women and men who are spouses and partners to servicemembers in the United States Armed Forces. It is not a role I completely understand as of yet, and I learn at least one new thing every day about what is expected and necessary for the support of such a calling. I am learning how to respond to people’s questions about where she is, and why she serves. I am learning how to explain what it is like to have my spouse on the other side of the world on a base in a place that is fraught with violence and conflict. And I am learning how to be there for her, and provide support and love across the miles and time zones and technical difficulties.

And I have come to learn that I have more in common with “military wives” than I once thought. I’m related to some of them! When my father was drafted during Vietnam, he and my mother were married two weeks before he left for a 6-month tour. And years before that, my aunt and uncle were married just before my uncle left to serve on a submarine for a 6-month tour. Both of their marriages are still strong, and loving, and solid after 50 and 42 years, respectively. So when other military spouses tell me that this deployment will make my marriage stronger, I can’t help but believe them.

The next six months will bring challenges, as all experiences in life do. But they will also offer opportunities for reflection, appreciation, and transformation.

People say that time changes us; that with every new experience or event in our lives, we are somehow altered. While I think this is somewhat true, I tend to embrace a different framework. I embrace the idea that time does not change us, but rather unfolds us. This is a saying attributed to Max Frisch. It is a quote that I have hanging in my living room, next to a picture of me and my wife. The picture is of our hands, intertwined in one another, and the ribbons we used in our handfasting ceremony during our wedding service. It is a testament to the nature of our relationship, as a consistently evolving and transformative experience; the openness to love one another, and the potential for unfolding that is inherent within.

This idea of our lives unfolding is the way I think about the concept of transformation. While people can certainly change throughout their lifetimes, it seems that with each passing day, we mostly become more and more who we are. And so it is in marriage, parenting, and any relationship where we are invested and committed. Such relationships help us to go beyond ourselves, and see things from a different perspective. This change in our lens helps us to see our strengths and gifts, and areas where there is room to grow.  It seems that at the core of who we are, there is potential for growth and transformation. In each of those relationships, we learn more about ourselves, and the way we are in the world.

Just as a tree takes on different shapes and sizes throughout its lifespan, from seed to sapling, to sturdy oak, so do we as human beings. We are constantly emerging, growing, and changing shape. For many of us, this includes assuming new roles or taking on new responsibilities. Ideally, I suppose these roles would all converge into one and we would be integrated and whole beings. But that is so difficult sometimes!

Often, our roles conflict with one another, or cause tension in our lives or relationships. But even in those moments, there is a potential for growth and unfolding; there is a chance for transformation. We unfold across our lifespan, and grow more into who we are. In those instances, there is also a possibility of transformation for others’ ideas about us and the many roles we hold. The potential for transformation, for learning, and for understanding lies within us and around us. Perhaps the key to such a discovery or development lies in our ability to live the journey and be open to all of the things (good and bad) that we might realize about ourselves. And perhaps the most effective thing we can do is not strive to become someone or something else, or to change who we are, but to let our lives unfold to exhibit the transformation that has taken place.