The Journey to Marriage Equality
“Here is a place to bring your whole self and find sanctuary, nurturing, replenishment, love, and faith in the world we can and will build together.”
Unitarian Universalists stand as a beacon of love and hope during a national debate on LGBT rights. Our faith supports the inherent worth and dignity of every person, with no exceptions. Whether you are single or in a relationship, we believe that love is a gift from God. We also believe that loving couples of all kinds should be able to marry.
This belief is lived out within each person’s own personal call to faith, among congregants who gather for worship and service, and out in the world working for social change. The Unitarian Universalist campaign, Standing on the Side of Love, is described on their web site as, “a public advocacy campaign that seeks to harness love’s power to stop oppression.” It continues with, “No one should be dehumanized through acts of exclusion, oppression, or violence because of their identities.”
Losing a Job
We Are Not Moving On
We are not moving on
we are embracing our mourning
we are sad enough to know we must laugh again
no one deserves a tragedy
we are better than we think and not quite what we want to be
we will continue to invent the future
we will prevail—Nikki Giovanni (2007)
Unitarian Universalists affirm the inherent worth and dignity of all human beings. Inherent means that worth is not dependent on what we do or what we have. It is simply part of our being. We are part of the interdependent web and we have value.
Earth and Spirit: Belonging to the Earth
As the crickets’ soft autumn hum
is to us
so we are to the trees
as they are
to the rocks and the hills—Gary Snyder
What does it mean to belong to the Earth?
Alcoholism
Step Three: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
People say this step is a great tool in pain management—asking a person to turn her or his will and life over to the care of God, as we understood Him. In my alcoholic bottom I cringed when I first heard this approach. I said, “This is not what Dr. King taught. Dr. King taught people to sacrifice in order to help make the world a better place.”
For me AA’s, “Let Go and Let God,” conjured what Catholic Bishops working on the side of the landed elite told the peasants of Latin America.
Suicide of a Loved One
“In the obituaries, they call the friends and family of the person who died the “survivors.” Surviving the suicide of a loved one is one of the most difficult things a person will do. But you will. You will survive.”
The most basic, fundamental decision any person makes is whether we will continue to live. We are so interconnected that when someone makes the choice to end their life it sends shock waves of pain through their community.
Along with dealing with their own pain and loss, the loved ones often have to deal with a society that believes in an eternal punishment for those who commit suicide. But to say that there will be further punishment for a person who was in such emotional or physical pain that the only way they could find to stop it was to end their life shows a lack of understanding about the profound love and compassion that course through the world.
We, the loved ones—the survivors—must seek out that love and compassion so that we may find our own healing.
Accepting Help
“We hear all the time that it is blessed to give. Sometimes, though, we give a blessing when we allow ourselves to receive from others.”
Our Unitarian Universalist 7th principle tells us that we are not alone, that we are part of an interdependent web of existence. Our theology tells us that it is not enough to take care of our own lives, we are also called to build the beloved community through our relationships with others. Deservedly, we take pride in our willingness to reach out to others, to help someone in need.
These are noble ideas to which we aspire. Sometimes, though, we are faced with a different type of call—the call to receive the help and support of others.
When we are the ones who need help, it may feel like our worth and dignity are at stake. We mistakenly feel that to receive help is to lose our dignity. But allowing others to minister to us affirms the worth of all involved.
A Child in the Hospital
Sleep, my child and peace attend you, all through the night. I who love you shall be near you, all through the night. Soft the drowsy hours are creeping, hill and vale in slumber sleeping , I my loving vigil keeping, all through the night.
—Traditional Welsh Lullaby, Adapted by Alicia Carpenter
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
—Elizabeth Stone
When your child or infant is in the hospital, ill or injured, you may feel like all of life’s “knowns” are turned upside down. Suddenly unmoored, you may be struggling to regain some control over your life as you seek to protect your child. You may be wondering how this could have happened or why?, wondering “What did we do to deserve this?” or “Where is God?”
You did nothing to deserve what is happening to you and your family. Your child did nothing to deserve the suffering he or she might be experiencing now.
Parenting a Child with a Life-Altering Illness or Condition
“Like they tell you on the airplane: first, put on your own oxygen mask. Then, you’ll be able to put your child’s on them.”
Bad things happen to good people. We know this, but when something happens to a child, when they are diagnosed with a serious illness or condition, their illness also “happens” to their parents or caregivers. Caregivers often must put the rest of their lives on hold to attend to the sick child. But those of us in that role must also take care of ourselves so that we are strengthened to give that care.
Claiming Atheism
“When I became convinced that the universe is natural—that all ghosts and gods are myths—there entered into my brain the joy of freedom. I was free: free to think, to express my thoughts; free to live for myself and those I loved; free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope; free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds; free from the fear of eternal pain; free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies; free from devils, ghosts and gods. There were no prohibited places in all the realms of thought; no following another’s steps; no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words.”
—Robert Ingersoll
A study conducted by the University of Minnesota found that atheists ranked lower than “Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups” in ‘sharing my vision of American society.’ Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry.
This kind of prejudice makes it difficult for those of us who have rejected traditional religion, or perhaps were never taught conventional religious concepts, to be open about our beliefs.
Incarcerated Family Member
“We…covenant to promote and affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every person.”
—Purposes and Principles of the Unitarian Universalist Association
Unitarian Universalists hold justice to be a particularly important aspect of right relationships among human beings. Among the Principles and Purposes that UU congregations covenant together to affirm and promote are “justice, equity and compassion in human relations,” and “the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.” And among the sources from which our living tradition draws, we lift up “words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love.”
But how can we temper justice with mercy?
