Parenting Gender-Nonconforming Children
When our first child was born, we were filled with wonder and curiosity and love for this newest member of the family who had taken up residence in our hearts long before we knew any details of identity. Personality, voice, talents and challenges were all unknown to us, all seeds just taking root in our new baby, all blossoms in waiting.
Over the years, we learned that gender too was one of the seeds that would only emerge in time. How beautiful it has been to watch as our beloved child has bloomed, in gender and identity and expression.
A Quest for Integrity
It always surprises me when people tell me how brave I am for being openly transgender.
It doesn’t seem like bravery to me because I know how painful it was to live in the “before”—the time of hiding and questions and thinking no one would love me if they knew the truth. It took some courage to choose to live honestly—it always does—but no more (or less,) I think, than for anyone else.
That’s the thing. Every time I tell my story, people come to me and tell me about the long journey they’ve made (or wish to make) to live in a way that feels honest and real.
The Quest that Brought Me Here
I joined CLF when I moved to the Missouri Ozarks in 2000. The nearest fellowship was more than an hour away, the nearest UU church two hours. While I had some friends here, I knew not one UU. In Kansas City, I had been a member of All Souls for ten years, active as a leader in both worship and governance, so this was a huge change.
CLF became my refuge, the CLF-L list my everyday church community. Soon I was volunteering to help CLF experiment with improving use of the internet. I was asked to join the CLF board in 2004 and served 6 years, during which CLF undertook big steps in becoming a 21st century congregation.
My service on the search committee in 2010 was deeply rewarding. We worked hard to give potential candidates both an accurate and broad picture of what CLF was, and how her leaders, members and staff hoped it could develop. We had an fine pool of applicants, and interviewed a stellar group of potential candidates, among whom Rev. Meg Riley shone the brightest.
