Streets to Dwell In
Pledging Our Troth
Behaving, Believing, Belonging
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It is astonishing how certain human bonds are able to transcend time and place. Early one year, my brother Chuck made contact—on the Internet, no less—with a long lost relative in Iceland. As genealogists reckon relationships, Kiddi is our second cousin once removed; in the simpler reckoning of the American South, he might be called a “kissing cousin.”
From Your Minister
Ambiguity
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What are you? Are you a man? A woman? Person of color? Are you straight or gay, able or disabled, citizen, immigrant, settler? Are you legal or illegal? Do you belong here?
Where is it documented? Your birth certificate, in your skin, on your wheelchair, the shape of your hips, or your DNA—does it have a US stamp of approval? Tell me, what are you?
Belonging
Whose Are You?
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Whose are you?
Who carries you in their heart, thinks of you, whether you think of them or not? Read more →
Preparing the Warrior Spirit
It is the middle of the night and my unit has landed at Bangor International Airport, in Maine, for a short stopover before we leave American soil for Afghanistan. We will not be home for many months. We hope we will all come home alive, but in war, as in life, there are risks, there is uncertainty, there is the real possibility of death.
Before we left our mobilization site in Texas I brought a self-selecting group of my soldiers on retreat—a Spiritual Fitness Retreat. We did this to prepare our souls for war, drawing from the wisdom of warrior cultures in earlier times and adopting and adapting spiritual disciplines, rituals, and rites of passage, to serve the needs of the soul.
War is a Rite of Passage—I have learned this from my mentor Ed Tick—and this rite in history has included several key components: time apart in a sacred space, guidance by elders, trials that recreate the war experience, blessing and gifts from the community in whose name the warrior serves, and initiation into the warrior path. At our retreat we did all these things, and in some mysterious and beautiful way the community came together around us.
Ascension Mena, who established the Holy Trinity Retreat Center in eastern El Paso, hosted our gathering; local ministers, including Sabine Green and Sarah Heartsong, lead the gathering in a drumming circle and Warrior Rite; Hugh Scanlen, a purple heart recipient from two combat tours in Vietnam and elder mentor on the Warrior Path, offered wisdom and guidance; Mahonri Telles and Matt Hopper, both Iraq combat veterans, drew from Native American and Nordic traditions respectively to teach us to activate our shadow with the “warrior cry” and create meaning with Norse Rune symbols; others too many to name came and provided healing through Reiki and gifts of medicine pouches for us each to carry.
Now is the time to depart, but we leave with the blessing of the community, our souls cared for by the ancient wisdom rituals and rites of warrior cultures in earlier times.
Disclaimer: All entries to CLF/Quest Military Ministries page reflect the personal views of the contributor. The views expressed here are in no way to be construed as an individual or individuals speaking in their official capacities for the agencies, departments, or service branches they serve in. This is not an official publication of the Department of Defense, the U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Air Force, any government agency, or any other organization.
Soul Care
The Army Chaplain Corps has a motto: “nurture the living, care for the wounded, honor the dead.” Army chaplains hold the sacred trust of the people of the United States to provide soul care for America’s sons and daughters. This is an awesome task which I am only able to undertake with the utmost humility and full support of my family, my faith community, my colleagues in ministry, and my God. I write this for all of the above.
My unit has been mobilized to deploy to Afghanistan. Since our mobilization orders began several weeks ago, I have searched for innovative ways to tend to the souls of my soldiers. Alas, many seem too busy to attend to this vital dimension of the self; many seem reluctant to take time for the soul, perhaps out of fear for what they may find, perhaps for no other reason than they really believe they have more important tasks to complete than be still and look inward.
Yet the high rates of suicide and sexual assault in the military are painful indicators that the greatest threat we may face in deployment is ourselves. I am convinced that soul-care is the most effective means to not only decrease suicide and sexual assault but help manage the stress of combat so that soldiers grow and not wither in the wake of trauma. And soul-care begins with cultivating self-awareness.
The Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu understood the importance of knowing oneself in battle. “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of one hundred battles. If you know yourself but not your enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” (From The Art of War).
A more recent military leader from this side of the pond, General George Marshall, also understood the importance of caring for the soul. He put it something like this: “The soldier’s heart, the soldier’s spirit, the soldier’s soul are everything. Unless the soldier’s soul sustains them, they cannot be relied on and will fail themselves and their country in the end.”
I initiated several programs at our mobilization site in order to cultivate self-awareness and keep soldiers mindful of the soul dimension. Some of these initiatives include: morning “Soul Call,” a play on “sick call,” which is basically open chapel time each morning when soldiers can drop-in to pray, meditate, study or meet with me; evening Zen Meditation; “Pocket Stones,” which are small polished rocks engraved with words like faith, hope, courage, strength and happiness- I distribute them at no cost to soldiers to help them be mindful of these important qualities of soul; Spiritual Fitness Retreats – I have two scheduled at a local Catholic retreat center; Chaplain’s Tea – where I serve soldiers tea in a traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony; I also perform worship service on Sunday evenings; and have a presence in the daily Commanders Update Brief.
Being self-aware means paying attention to the ways we shield ourselves from painful truths, deny the real horror of warfare, and morally disengage from the consequences of our actions. Yet in order to prepare our souls and care for our souls we need to pay attention to the human cost of war.
Two days ago I recommended to the commander that we include a slide to honor the dead in the daily update brief. Now we have a slide with the photographs of those most recently killed in Afghanistan. I do this to help prepare our souls for the real losses that lie ahead. When we do that, when we embrace tragedy rather than deny or avoid it, we do as my mentor Ed Tick has taught me: we keep our hearts alive. If we allow ourselves to morally disengage, if we try to insulate ourselves from pain, then we risk becoming “people of the lie,” a term I attribute to M. Scott Peck who wrote a book by that name about presence of human evil in our daily lives.
Disclaimer: All entries to CLF/Quest Military Ministries page reflect the personal views of the contributor. The views expressed here are in no way to be construed as an individual or individuals speaking in their official capacities for the agencies, departments, or service branches they serve in. This is not an official publication of the Department of Defense, the U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Air Force, any government agency, or any other organization.
Taking Ownership
Ralph Waldo Emerson once suggested the following: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
Every moment, every day, holds such possibility. It holds the possibility for love, compassion, and connection with others. It also holds potential for deceit, untruths, and brokenness. Admittedly, most days are a combination of the two sides of this coin, a mixture of “good” and “bad” moments. And yes, it is important not to dwell on those moments when we are not our best selves. Perhaps it is even essential in order for us to live with intention and purpose, to focus on our positive nature and not dwell in the past.
While I appreciate the spirit with which Emerson approaches the need to let things go, I have to take issue with his message. He suggests that we forget our blunders as soon as we can, and begin the next day with “too high a spirit to be encumbered with [our] old nonsense.” But what if that takes longer than a day? Life isn’t a television show where, in 60 minutes time (45 minutes with commercials), an issue arises, blows up, and is resolved. I agree that I shouldn’t dwell on the time I blocked the intersection or sighed impatiently at the person taking too long at the ATM. But what about bigger disagreements? What about those things I did that had a bigger impact?
There are so many instances in our lives when we step on each other’s toes, overstep our boundaries, and say or do things that hurt others. We realize that our decisions, actions, or behaviors have had a negative impact on another person. We realize that we have contributed to the sense of brokenness that exists there, in that moment. Oftentimes we wish we could take it back, turn back the hands of time, behave differently, or choose different words. But, unfortunately, the time has passed and the opportunity to change that moment is gone.
So why is it so difficult to move on from that moment and just make a different decision next time? I think, perhaps, because the brokenness stays with us. We might even try to “get over it” or “let it go”. That is easier said than done.
Our lives are made up of an intricate web of relationships. As humans we are inherently social beings. And when we harm others that foundation of our relationship can be shaken, it can lose its strength. So I suggest an alternative version of Emerson’s statement. I suggest that we strive to start the next day with the resolution that we will strive for connection, take ownership of our wrongdoing, and seek to make amends. I suggest that we atone for the wrongdoing or harm we have caused, for our contribution we have made to the brokenness in this world. Sometimes that isn’t possible in a direct way, but often it is possible in indirect ways.
We cannot dwell on those times of brokenness in our lives, but we must take ownership of them. In doing so, and in being mindful of our actions, we make a commitment to strive toward healing. If right relationship is the goal in our interactions with others, we must take responsibility in maintaining that foundation. Yes, we can move on when we make mistakes, but not without acknowledging the impact they had on others, and striving to make things right.
