Missing God
“As our faith expands, we can find new, more complex ways of perceiving the unknowable.”
For many of us, it proves impossible to limit religious thought to a narrow creed. The more we learn, the more difficult it becomes to restrict ourselves to the definition of ultimate reality, or God, that we grew up with, or held when we were young. James Fowler writes about this in Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning. But as we progress through different stages of faith development, we may find that certain concepts we felt we had outgrown still hold meaning for us. One of these concepts may be “God.”
Personal Story
“I can’t believe what I was taught to believe,” said the woman facing me. “I’ve just read too much. I know that stories in the Bible were drawn from other cultures and myths, and reason and my experience have taught me different things. So I can’t believe what I used to believe.” She paused, and looked at me sadly. “It’s just … there’s something in me … I …” She looked at me, a bit sheepish, a bit sad.
“You miss God?” I asked. She nodded.
I understood.
I’d gone through my own stripping-away, discarding things that no longer made sense, setting aside immature, not well-examined beliefs. But out in nature, or at the end of the day, when I used to “talk to God,” I missed what I used to have. A connection, or a conversation, with … what?
A wise friend, sensing where I was, sent me a quote by John Shelby Spong:
I do not experience God as a supernatural power, external to life invading my world in supernatural power. I see no evidence to think this definition is real. The problem is that most people have so deeply identified this definition of God with God that when this definition dies the victim of expanded knowledge, we think that God has died.
So … even though my previous understanding of God no longer held value, might I find another understanding, with new value to me? I embarked on a journey, one which I am still on. I’ve explored panentheism, process theology, and world religions. Some things I keep, some I discard. All help me to expand my view of “God,” and connect with the transcending mystery.
For you, perhaps you’ll decide that “God,” as a word, holds no value for you. That’s fine. As many have pointed out, “God” is not God’s name.
But for those of us missing God, the journey to find a definition that fits our experience can take us to places of insight and reward; places where we feel we can embrace both reason and Spirit.
A Prayer
O Great Mystery of Life, as I seek out answers, may I find the confidence that comes with owning my own journey, the curiosity to expand my knowledge, and the peace of holding loosely to the beliefs that align with my reason, values, and experience. May what I believe transform my life, so that I may transform and make better the world around me. Amen.
A Spiritual Practice
Consider starting a small group to engage with some of the big questions you have, either online, or with local friends. Make a covenant of how you will be together, and come up with a list of questions, e.g. “What happens after we die?” or “What is God?” Each meeting, take just one question, with each person answering it only from their own experience, mindful that the process of engaging the question is more important than arriving at an answer.
May the questions and the answers you find feed your spirit and give you what you need to live a more fulfilling life.
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