REsources For Living
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Isabel, who is ten years old, gave us permission to share this essay that she wrote on courage, the theme of this month’s Quest…
Courage, courage is something that eats up the stomach, it pushes past the brain and leaps at you when it’s not expected. It’s a power you never knew you had, and when you need it your gut lets it loose until you are filled with the power of it. Should I or should I not? I think will the other kids like me? The thought pushes over me like a storm with its thunder, rain and finally a rainbow. With every step I’ve taken this will be my hardest and maybe greatest. For will the outcome be good or bad? I sit there wondering and thinking maybe yes maybe no. It seems like a million choices but there are only 2. Finally I decide. I walk slowly into the computer room where my mom is. She turns around and faces me “do you need anything honey?” she says. I think about the words I’m about to say, then I take a deep breath and count to 3 before I say. “I want to go to Camp Miller” A smile spreads over her face; she looks proud of me, “That’s great sweetheart” she says. All of a sudden I’m smiling too, is it? Yes I’m actually excited instead of nervous, and I’m smiling now too! That night I pack my bags with all the stuff I will need. When it’s time to go to bed mom kisses me good night, I fall asleep dreaming of all the new things I will learn and all the memories I will have and share with my family. Courage is a thing that gets you past a time when you don’t know what will happen; it eats up old feelings leaving you with new ones. In the end I end up making new friends and learning tons of stuff. Courage is our friend I think, yes courage is our friend. —Isabel
That sums up the topic of courage pretty nicely, I think. “Courage is a thing that gets you past a time when you don’t know what will happen; it eats up old feelings leaving you with new ones.” Of course, getting past those scared, “what will happen?” feelings isn’t easy. After all, everyone has things that they’re scared of. What’s interesting to me is that what people find frightening varies so much from person to person. My daughter is happy to go on the biggest, fastest, scream-inducing roller coasters she can find, but wouldn’t be caught dead in a haunted house. I’m happy to talk or sing in front of 1,000 people, but I get anxious when I have to make a phone call. My friend likes to paddle through crashing white water in a kayak, but runs screaming from the room if she sees a spider.
The other thing I find interesting is that it really doesn’t do any good for other people to tell us that something isn’t scary. If you’re afraid of monsters under the bed, it doesn’t matter how many times your parents tell you that monsters aren’t real. Maybe they’re imaginary, but they’re still terrifying. Fear is just a really personal thing.
And so is courage. Other people can’t do much to get you past your fears, but you can do a lot for yourself. No one else can tell you that there are no monsters under the bed, but sometimes you can work out for yourself that if there weren’t monsters there last night, there probably won’t be tonight either. Isabel lets her own mind figure out what could go wrong with sleepover camp, and what could be really amazing. She takes some deep breaths, and she realizes that being nervous about something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it anyway. She goes face to face with her fear and finds her courage.
And then she has the pleasure of sharing her courageous choice with her mom. Isabel feels the special glow that happens when someone else recognizes and honors the ways that you have challenged yourself and grown from the experience.
I think being in a UU community is a lot like that. We all have to take responsibility for not only our own lives and choices, but also for our own beliefs. No one can assure us that God or heaven or hell is real or not real. We each have to start with what we see for ourselves, what we feel for ourselves, what we, ourselves, puzzle out. It takes courage to faithfully pursue your own spiritual path, choosing to follow what you understand to be true, rather than following what is easiest or most popular.
But it helps to know that there are people rooting for you, people who want to hear the stories of what you find on your journey, people who will honor the places your courage takes you.
“Courage,” as Isabel says, “is our friend.” But it’s also easier to be courageous when you have friends who will back you up, who celebrate your victories, learn from your bold steps, and share their own courageous journeys. Somehow it’s easier for me to pick up the (ugh!) telephone and call my senator when I picture UUs in their yellow-orange Standing on the Side of Love t-shirts marching or chanting or even getting arrested for the cause of human rights. Our fears and acts of courage are individual, unique—but it is easier to be brave in a community of courage. Each one of us can take a deep breath and step forward and join what songwriter Carolyn McDade called “a people so bold.”
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