The Mustard-Seed Medicine
KISA GOTAMI was a beautiful young woman with neither father nor mother to care for her. In the city market one day, a rich young man saw her as she stood in a booth selling flowers. He fell in love with her at first sight. Later he married her. Everyone thought: "What a happy life Kisa Gotami will now have. Some time after that a baby was born, a beautiful little boy, and Kisa Gotami was completely happy. The days slipped by very fast as she watched her little son grow and learn. Almost before she knew it, he could run about and talk. She loved him more than anyone else in all the world. She loved him when he was obedient and when he was stub-born. She loved him when he laughed and when he cried. But one day the little boy suddenly became very sick. Even though his mother and father did everything they knew how to do for him, the little boy did not get well. In a few days he died.
Kisa Gotami could not believe her little boy was really dead. She thought his sickness had only put him to sleep. Some kind of medicine would surely wake him up. So she wrapped the little body in its baby sheet and lifted it up in her arms. She carried it to her neighbor’s door.
"Please, my friend," she begged, "give me some medicine that will cure my child." But when her neighbor lifted the sheet and saw the baby’s face, she shook her head sadly. She knew there was no medicine that could cure him.
Kisa Gotami was not easily discouraged. She went from door to door. She begged each neighbor she saw: "Please give me some medicine to cure my little boy." But each neighbor in turn looked at the baby’s sleeping face and shook her head sadly. The neighbors all felt very sorry for Kisa Gotami. When she was gone, they said:
"Poor Kisa Gotami! Has she lost her sensesl" Finally she met a man on the street who said:
"My good woman, I cannot give you any medicine for your child, but I know a man who can help you.
"Oh, tell me, please, who is he and where may I find him
"Go to Buddha," said the man encouragingly. "He canalways help people." So Kisa Gotami hurried to the home of Buddha. She stood before the great man and said:
"Good Buddha, I am told you are always able to help people in trouble. Please give me some medicine that will cure my child."
Buddha looked tenderly at the anxious mother. He knew the child was dead. He knew he could not bring the dead back to life again, but he knew also that he could help the mother to feel peaceful and comforted. "My good woman, you must help me find the medicine," said Buddha kindly. "Go and bring me a handful of mustard seed."
"Surely I can easily find a handful of mustard seed, "said Kisa Gotami eagerly. "Do as 1 tell you," said Buddha, ‘hut remember this: The mustard seed must be taken from a house where no one has ever died or it will be of no use."
Believing she could find the mustard seed in some house where no one had ever died, Kisa Gotami thanked Buddha and went back home. There she gently laid her child’s lifeless body on its little bed. Then she went out alone to find the handful of mustard seed.
First she went hopefully to her next-door neighbor. "Have you a handful of mustard seed" she asked. "Buddha says it will cure my child."
"Certainly I have mustard seed. I will gladly give you a handful and more."
"Thank you so much, kind neighbor," said Kisa Gotami, "but before taking the seed I must ask you a question. Has anyone ever died in your house–a father or grandfather or grandmother or anyone else?"
"O Kisa dear, have you forgotten?" said the neighbor in surprise. "Our dear grandfather died here scarcely more than a year ago."
"Then your mustard seed cannot cure my child," said Kisa Cotami sadly. "Buddha said that I must find the seed in a home where no one has ever died."
Hopefully Kisa Gotami went to another house. She went from door to door, to every house in the village, asking for a handful of mustard seed. When she asked the question: "Has anyone ever died in this house?" one said:
"Yes, our oldest son died here. It was ten years ago, but we still miss him." Another said:
"Both our grandparents died in this house." Another said:
"My husband died here many years ago." At every door it was the same. Someone would say:
"Good woman, why remind us of our sorrow? How can you expect to find a house where no one has died? Don’t you know that the living are few but the dead are many?"
At last, tired and discouraged, Kisa Gotami went outside the village and sat down alone on a rock under a banyan tree. She knew now that even Buddha had no medicine for her child. Nothing could bring him back to life again. Tears blinded her eyes. Although it was broad daylight, it seemed as though the darkness of night had fallen over her.
As she sat quietly under the banyan tree, she slowly began to feel peaceful. After all, she was not all alone and deserted. Nor did she feel that her little boy was all alone. The really real little boy she loved was gone. That was true. She did not know where he had gone or why he had gone, but she did know now that his body was dead. It had died, just as thousands of other persons’ bodies had died before. Just as her own body would sometime die. Just as everybody in all the world must sometime die. Kisa Gotami felt that all people were together in dying. No one was ever all alone.
But Kisa Gotami wanted to talk with Buddha again. She was beginning to understand why he had sent her to get the handful of mustard seed. But she wanted him to tell her. So she arose and went back to his home. Buddha greeted her in the same gentle way he had done before.
"Good woman, have you brought the mustard seed?" he asked.
"No, my lord. There is no house in all the village where someone has not at sometime died." "Sit down beside me" said Buddha. "Let us talk together a while." Kisa Gotami was glad to listen and be quiet.
"Our lives in this world are all short whether we live for one year or for a hundred years. Everyone who is born must sometime die–yes, everyone. There are no exceptions. We all have our times of happiness and also our times of pain and sorrow. Do not try to free yourself from suffering. Try rather to free yourself from hate and selfishness.
"Do not struggle, good woman," said Buddha. "Be at peace. Accept your life as a gift. Take the days as they come one by one. Fill them as full of kindness as you can."
Kisa Gotami went often to Buddha. The thoughts that he gave her to think about were the best kind of medicine for her loneliness. Now that she knew how much it hurt to be lonely, she began to learn how to comfort others who also were sad.
Kisa Gotami, now a rich man’s wife, went often to the homes of the poor. She brought them food. She played with their children. In these ways she slowly learned how to comfort herself.
A Spring Haggadah–Telling Stories
Passover and Easter are both celebrations which highlight the spring season. How do Unitarian Universalists respond to these deeply significant religious festivals? Some respond by turning with the secular culture to flowers, eggs, lambs and bunnies–all ancient symbols of the renewal of life, which is also a central message of Easter and Passover. The rich layers of human custom and belief come together now, and as we draw our living tradition from many sources, UUs may serve forth a generous slice that includes all those layers.
What follows, inspired by the Jewish Haggadah, or "telling" of the Passover story during the Seder meal, is an attempt to bring all the stories together in a celebration for UU families. The dialogue may take place around the dinner table where symbols of the season have been placed. The menu is of your choosing, with a glass of wine or juice for each person. The first question should be asked by the youngest person present and answered by the oldest person present. After that, you may take turns asking and answering in any order around the table. If you like, make copies of the dialogue available to everyone ahead of time, or simply pass this one copy from person to person for an impromptu reading.
First question: Why is this time of year different from other times?
First answer: This is the time when we remember that death is a natural part of life on earth and that all living things renew themselves over and over, year after year. This is the time when Passover and Easter are celebrated. It is the time of Easter bunnies and decorated eggs.
All: We lift our glasses in celebration of life everlasting!
Second question: What is the story of Passover?
Second answer: Long ago, the Hebrew people were slaves in the land of Egypt. Because the Pharaoh refused to free the slaves, Moses and Aaron and their god, Yahweh, brought one affliction after another to the Egyptians. Finally Yahweh passed through the land by night, bringing death to the firstborn son of every Egyptian family. So that the Hebrews would be spared, Yahweh told them to kill a lamb and mark their doorways with its blood. When Yahweh came to a door marked with the blood of the lamb, he would passover that house. The Hebrews were able to escape from Egypt, and after wandering for many years, finally came to a Promised Land of their own. At the time of Passover, Jewish people all over the world celebrate their freedom with a Seder dinner.
All: We lift our glasses in celebration of freedom from oppression!
Third question: What is the story of Easter?
Third answer: The Easter story happened many, many years after the Hebrews left Egypt. It is the story of a man named Jesus, a Jew who lived during the time of the Roman empire. Jesus brought new inspiration to his people. He talked about love and non-violence and respect for every person. Some of the Roman rulers were afraid he might start a rebellion, and some of the Jewish leaders were afraid he might change their religion. It was just after Jesus and his friends had celebrated a Passover Seder together that he was arrested and put to death on the cross. However, his teaching lived on, and today Christians all over the world celebrate Easter in his memory as a time of love and hope reborn.
All: We lift our glasses in celebration of love and hope reborn!
Fourth question: What is the story of the Easter bunny and colored eggs:
Fourth answer: This is the oldest story of all. Ancient people who lived in northern lands waited anxiously each year for spring to return.They saw the egg as a symbol of new life, and they noticed that rabbits had large and frequent families. They watched eagerly for the first green shoots of spring, which meant fresh food for their own families. Many people in all times and places have decorated eggs for spring celebrations. A roasted egg is one of the symbolic foods of Passover. Baby animals and flowers and green, growing things are also symbols of new life.
All: We lift our glasses in celebration of life everlasting!
"The Flaming Chalice"
The flaming chalice in a circle is the symbol of Unitarian Universalism. The flaming chalice is a flame burning the holy oil of helpfulness and sacrifice–spreading warmth and light and hope. The circles in which it is contained represents the Unitarian and Universalist heritages with its concept of worldwide community.
The chalice has been a symbol of liberal religion since the fifteenth century, dating to John Hus in Transylvania. The flaming chalice was adopted by the Unitarian Service Committee in 1941. Its modern story is an interesting one.
Hans Deutsch was an Austrian refugee who lived in Paris until France was invaded in 1940. He had worked in many European countries as a musician, drafter, and portrait artist. Having contributed many cartoons with unflattering content (about Nazism) to several newspapers in Vienna, he fled Paris and finally settled in Portugal. To earn a living he gave lessons in English, one of the eight languages he spoke, and drew portraits. In Portugal, Deutsch joined the staff of the Unitarian Service Committee for six months as secretary and assistant to Dr. Charles E. Joy, then the executive director of the USC.
Dr. Joy asked his new assistant to work in his spare time on designing a symbol for the Committee. The Flaming Chalice was created in response to this request and given to the Committee by Deutsch in appreciation of its humanitarian work.
When Hans Deutsch was threatened with imprisonment in Portugal in June 1941, the USC assisted him in escaping to the United States, where he resides under the name of John H. Derrick.
Recently, the chalice was redesigned and made the official symbol of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations.
The Gift of Color
This story is new. It was written for you.
Imagine a time long ago when things were just getting started. The first flowers were blooming; the first birds were building their nests high in the branches of sheltering trees; girls and boys, men and women setting up their first families and homes. These are the things that you might have seen if it wasn’t so dark. No one could see, because it was the first night, and the first day hadn’t happened yet.
The First People could hear the wind whining in the trees, and the birds twittering and whistling. It was so dark they couldn’t see anything, but the First People were too busy to worry about the dark. They were thinking about all the first things they would need to live beyond that first night. The First People were working so hard that they really didn’t care that they couldn’t see each other in the dark. As they spoke, they would turn their bodies toward sounds of voices that didn’t have faces.
When the sun finally rose on that first morning, the whole world looked like it was made of glass. [Show the cellophane wrap on the frame.] One by one the First People realized they still couldn’t see anything. Their faces and muscles and bones were all clear. Light passed straight through their bodies to the clear ground below. The sky was clear. The trees, birds, flowers, and rocks were all as clear as glass.
Finally, one of the First Children broke the silence. "I have eyes to see with," the child cried. "But there’s nothing to see" One of the adults tried to comfort the child, but the First People were all sad.
"What will we do?" one woman said. "Last night we planned to gather the tall grass that rustles in the breeze. We planned to bend and fold, and twist and tie that grass to make the first baskets. Then, we were going to go down to the river, which we hear moving past us, to collect baskets full of water, so all the First People could have a drink."
" Oh-hh-hh," moaned a thirsty man. "How will you find the grass if you can’t see it’ How will you know if you’ve made a tight basket if you can’t see your work? How will you find your way to the water and back?"
The First People were very creative and solved all these problems, one by one. Holding hands, they formed a human chain to make a trail to the tall grass. They took small, careful steps, never knowing when clear grass might give way to clear rocks or clear tree stumps. Once the human chain was finally in place, the person on the end felt carefully for one long, thick blade of grass, pulled it out of the ground and passed it to the next person, who passed it to the next, until the blade of grass reached the last person in line. [You could have the children close their eyes and pass a long blade of grass around the circle.]
After the grass had been plucked, several First People started weaving baskets, feeling their work with their fingers to find even the tiniest holes that would let water out. Finally they had a few baskets that could hold water. Once again all the First People formed a human chain and worked their way to the river. When a basket was passed to the last man in line, he dipped it carefully into the river he couldn’t see and pulled it up full of water. The First People breathed a sigh of relief when the man shouted, "It’s holding! It’s holding! And so it was that the First People shared their first drink of water.
The First People had been hard at work all day, and they’d only accomplished one thing–getting a drink! Although the First People had plenty to drink, they had nothing to eat, and they all went to sleep hungry.
When the sun came up again, nothing had changed, except the First People were more worried about how to take care of themselves in a world where nothing could be seen. As the day passed, the First Women and Men planned ways to collect food. A First Child who was playing found something hard–a rock, a crystal-clear rock. She tossed the rock up in the air and it twinkled in the sun. The child held it up for her mother to see. Stretching out her clear arm, with the clear rock in her clear hand, something happened. Stripes of something not-clear showed on her face and reflected on the ground below. [Demonstrate with a prism.]
When the girl’s mother saw the stripes of something not-clear, she called the others around. The First People were excited as they felt on the ground for more clear stones that would make those seven wonderful not-clear stripes. The girl’s mother decided to name the stripes. Pointing to each in turn she called out, "Red! Orange! Yellow! Green! Blue! Indigo! Violet! " The First People played with the stripes until the sun set.
On the third morning, a gentle rain fell. The First People set out their baskets to catch the rain and talked again about how to gather food. They almost didn’t notice when the rain stopped and the sun came out. Looking up, the First People saw above them the same not-clear stripes they had played with the day before: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. As the sun grew brighter, the stripes glowed stronger.
Suddenly one man said, "What if we take our baskets and form a line to the stripes? Can we bring the red, orange, and yellow home? Can we pass green and blue, indigo and violet down the line, and use the stripes to make our world not-clear?"
No one knew the answers, but everyone was willing to try. They formed a human chain so long it led straight to the stripes in the sky. At the head of the line was the woman who had named the stripes. She filled the baskets and passed them back down the line. As she turned with the last basket full of violet, the First People gasped. All the beautiful colors were dripping out of the baskets! But the groans soon turned to cheers, for when the very first drop fell to the earth, it colored a flower a brilliant shade of red. The next drop caught a bird’s wing in flight. The whole world came alive in shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Trees appeared, and blue and yellow mingled to color the grasses green.
The First People were so busy watching their world change that they almost forgot that they were still as clear as glass. Suddenly a man tossed his basket of indigo high over-head and ran down the line of First People to await the shower of color below. Others followed his lead. Soon all the First People were playing with the colors falling from the sky. They rolled in the green grass and hugged gray tree trunks. They chased orange butter- flies and marveled at purple flowers. All the colors were still quite wet, and a bit of each rubbed off on everybody. When the colors finally dried, the First People found that they were all different colors. Some were warm, dark brown like the earth. Others were the color of honey, or shades of rose and burnished bronze mingled together. Some were pink all over, and others were touched by the yellow of the sun and golden buttercups.
They were thankful for this blessing of color. Now they could see the color of ripe apples and the blush of juicy peaches, and gather good food to eat. They could see the river run, birds fly, and fish swim. They could walk with their heads held high, their eyes seeking the best path. And they could learn from everything they could see.
When they looked at each other and saw all the beautiful colors of the First People, they were especially happy, and never wanted to be in a world without color again.
What is Hannukah?
Goal:
To learn about the origins of Hannukah.
Preparation:
Read Background
Materials:
Dreidel pattern
Poster board
Markers, crayons
Scissors
Peanuts and raisins
Activities:
1. Read “A Great Miracle”
2. Make dreidels:
Trace the dreidel pattern on poster board, color and cut out.
Glue or tape dreidels together, fitting the small rolled-up turners into the tops to enable them to spin. Make enough for everyone to have his or her own dreidel.
Pass out an equal number of raisins and peanuts to each player.
3. Play the dreidel game using the following rules:
Each player puts one peanut or raisin in the center. Then the first player spins the dreidel. If it lands on:
Nun—the player does nothing
Gimmel—the player takes everything in the center
Hey—the player takes half
Shin—the player puts one item in
Before the next player spins, everyone puts another piece in the center.
Children, Money and Values: Ten Principles
“How come you won’t get me the latest video game?”
“Gimme, get me, I want it, I saw it on T. V.”
“Amanda gets double what I get as an allowance!”
“I’m the only one in my class whose parents are tightwads. Just because you think this simple lifestyle stuff is cool, doesn’t mean I want it!”
“We tried to share our value of a simple lifestyle with our children, but some resented never having what other kids had, and now they’re typical yuppies.”
“My husband and I can live happily on very little, but now that we have kids we want them to have the advantages of a good school system, a safe place to live, and enough money to handle medical emergencies. What’s responsible and what’s luxury?”
This “simple lifestyle” stuff can sound great in theory but be anything but simple in the very day living of it. In fact, it can cause guilt, conflict, resentment, and self-righteousness. So why don’t we just give it all up and enjoy the good life? Perhaps because we take seriously the motto “Live simply so that others can simply live.” Over the years, my husband and I have struggled with many of the above situations and offer the following snippets of wisdom as part of the ever evolving discussion on children, money, and values.
1. Simple lifestyles need not mean living in destitution, but we must never be so isolated from the poor that we fail to be touched by their pain.
For example, if our own neighborhood is not poor, can we find ways to come into face to face contact with people who have less than us.
2. People are more important than things.
If we have a choice between protecting a possession and protecting a relationship, the person comes first. For example, buying a house, car, etc., should not be at the expense of time needed for the family.
3. Start young.
It’s a lot easier to maintain a modest lifestyle if that’s how the children have grown up. For example, if the policy at the grocery store has always been no trinkets, it’s easier than backing off from these treats later.
4. Seek a balance.
If parents are perceived as scrooges, children may resent having a thrifty lifestyle forced upon them and rebel to the opposite extreme. An occasional splurge is good for the soul and can let your kids know you’re human. For example, although we don’t typically buy expensive brand-name clothes for our children, sometimes we’ve made an exception if it was a quality item, just to break our image as tightwads.
5. Hang around with people with values like yours.
One of the hardest things for a parent is the concern that their child will suffer by not having something important that their peers have. It’s easier to say “no” to a purchase when you can point out friends who have similar family standards.
6. What about Allowances?
A modest amount of regular spending money can help the child learn the value of money and have the power to get things the parents might think are frivolous. The child then learns his/her own lessons about what is worth buying without the parent preaching.
7. Gift-giving criteria.
Encourage the giving of gifts that are creative and may not cost money. The gift of one’s effort and time are thus highlighted. Although we have done a lot of coupons for services and craft projects, we also found out the hard way that it’s important to give at least one item that they can unwrap and might be considered a “heart’s desire.”
8. Reduce temptation.
Although children should learn how to say “no” to the consumerism of our society, sometimes it can be so overwhelming that it’s easier to just minimize the commercials seen by limiting TV, and not spend much time in stores.
9. Make the “green movement” an ally.
Although our kids sometimes think this “simple lifestyle stuff” is pretty square, they can get turned on by the environmental ideas of “reduce, reuse, recycle.” Saving mother earth is attractive and in.
10. Favorite personal tip.
We instituted an annual clothing allowance once the kids got to an age that they contested the reasonable and thrifty clothes we bought for them. This took us out of the argument and let them decide whether to blow the whole year’s allowance on a couple pair of popular running shoes or rather to discover the joys of bargains and discount stores. What’s your best tip?
Source: Parenting for Peace and Justice Newsletter, Issue No. 65, December 1994
Why do people pray?
Goal:
To consider some ideas about the nature of prayer.
Preparation:
Read Background for Being With God in Prayer.
Activities:
Introduce the story:
In our Unitarian Universalist church people have many different ideas about God. For some people God is what’s really real, for some God is what’s most important, and for some God is what’s most mysterious. But there are also some UUs who have ideas about what’s most real and most important and most mysterious but they don’t call those things God. They use other words, like Universe, Life, or Love. In our church we each decide for ourselves which words to use and what we believe.
The stories I’m going to read were written to help kids decide for themselves what they thing about God. Here’s one of them.
Read: “Being With God in Prayer.”
Discuss:
What do you do when you have a problem?
Have you ever shared a problem with God? Did you ever get help for a problem in a dream?
What are the 3 things the story suggests we remember about prayer?
Make up a body prayer:
In the story the girl mentioned that she had seen people use their bodies in different ways when they prayed. Have you ever seen this? Let’s try some of the ways we’ve seen other people use their bodies when they pray.
Discuss what it feels like to do these different body motions. Try making up your own body movements to express a prayer. Talk about what you are “saying” with your body.
Background for "The Ten Commandments"
The first five books of the Hebrew Bible include many laws and ordinances, often freely mixed with narrative passages that give the context or reason for the particular law. The Decalogue, or Ten Commandments, probably existed as an independent document before the E writer placed it in his story of Moses. Another almost identical version can be found in Deuteronomy 5, although in Deuteronomy the Sabbath is observed as a re- minder of Israel’s bondage in Egypt, that the slaves of the Israelites "may rest as you do," whereas in Exodus the Sabbath is observed because God rested after six days of the labor of creation.
The form of the Ten Commandments used here is common to most Protestant churches. Unitarian Universalists from other religious traditions may be more familiar with other forms.
The first four commandments refer to the relationship of the Israelites with their god, YHWH. The next six refer to relationships among people. Breaking any of the commandments was a breach in the covenant relationship–the two-way agreement that bound YHWH and Israel together-but the Israelites were told, "If you listen to these laws and are careful to observe them, then the Lord your God will observe the sworn covenant he made with your forefathers and will keep faith with you. He will love you, bless you and cause you to increase" (Deuteronomy 7:12-13a).
The golden calf mentioned in the story is believed by many to have been the central focus of Canaanite worship of this period. An excavation in Israel in the summer of 1990 uncovered the first "golden calf" archaeologists have ever found. Much smaller than the calf described in the story of Moses, it is slightly larger than four inches tall and weighs about a pound. Made of several metals and burnished to provide a golden sheen, the calf is thought to date from about 1550 B.C.E. (Cleveland Plain Dealer, July 25, 1990).