A Hosanna Day
"Hosanna, hosanna," said Simcha over and over again. She loved the sound of the word and it made her feel good inside to say it. It was such a happy word. "Hosanna, praise God, hosannnaaaaaa." She tried saying it all different ways.
It was a beautiful day–not a cloud in the sky. She knew it would be hot later, but right now, as the sun came up, it was cool and the earth smelled sweet. She was going to Jerusalem with her family to spend Passover with her favorite aunt and uncle. It would be a long walk, and they would have to leave soon so that they could be there before the heat of early afternoon. She remembered the narrow streets that wound through the city and she thought of how cool her aunt’s house would be. Her mother climbed onto the donkey and took the baby in her arms. Father held the donkey’s halter as they walked along. Simcha danced and skipped all around the donkey, kicking up clouds of dust.
"Hold on there, young lady," said Father, laughing. "You’ll have us all choking in dust and you’ll be too worn out to make it all the way to the city.
Simcha calmed down. Her parents were talking grown-up talk, so she stopped listening. "I wonder if we will see Jesus," she thought. She had heard about Jesus. He was a great storyteller — she loved to listen to stories. She had heard that he was a kind person who cared about people who were poor or sick. He wanted to help people and make their lives better. He loved children, too. Maybe if she saw him he would tell her a story. "Hosanna, praise God," she whispered quietly to a bird sitting along the road, and the bird sang a song to her that Simcha thought sounded like "hosanna." Simcha was so happy. She felt as though she could dance ail the way to Jerusalem.
As they got closer to the city, there were more and more people. Everyone who could, went to Jerusalem for Passover. She was glad she had people to stay with, because she knew the city would be very crowded. Many people would have to sleep on the ground outside the walls.
Suddenly, everyone seemed to be shouting. Simcha stretched her neck to see over the crowd. People were moving back to make a path leading up to the gate of the city. Simcha ducked under the arms of some grown-ups and found herself right at the edge of the path. It was dry and dusty. Passing feet stirred up little puffs of dust that made her sneeze. Everyone was shouting, "Hosanna." They had pulled branches off the palm trees and were waving them to cool themselves in the hot sun. Simcha thought someone very important must be coming. It couldn’t be Romans because everyone was shouting "Hosanna" and that was such a happy word. The Romans were mean and made everyone sad.
Then she saw the man on the white donkey coming up the road. He was an ordinary looking man, but something special seemed to glow in his face. As he got closer, she saw his eyes. They seemed so very sad. She wanted to make him happy. She saw the donkey’s feet kicking up dust and she was afraid it would make him sneeze, too. She took off her cloak and spread it on the path in front of him. Others saw her, and soon everyone was spreading their cloaks on the road, too. As the donkeys came closer to her, the man turned to her and smiled. He stopped the donkey and reached out his hand to touch her head. "Thank you," he said. His voice made her feel warm inside.
"Come, Jesus, we will be late," said the man holding the donkey’s reins.
"In good time," said Jesus. "This child has been very kind to me. It is always the children who must teach us. It was a little boy who shared his meal so that I could feed the five thousand who had come to hear me. When a child shares, the whole world seems to follow. The prophet said,’A little child shall lead them.’ We have seen that here today. If we could all be as children, the world would be a better place."
Just then, Simcha’s mother and father caught up to her and saw what had happened. How proud they were of their daughter.
Jesus rode on into the city. Simcha picked up her cloak, folded it carefully, and held it against her cheek. "Hosanna," she thought. "This has truly been a ‘Praise God’ day. Hurray for Jesus"
"UUs Have Different Ideas About God"
The first idea about God comes from Mildred, a Unitarian Universalist woman. When we asked her what she thought God was like, this is what she said:
"Most of the time I’m not really sure but every once in a while when I am in my garden, I have I feeling that I do know what God is. When I’m down on my knees digging in the earth, and putting tiny seeds into the ground and when I’m closing the earth over those seeds knowing that they will grow into beautiful plants, I feel so amazed that something like that can happen. I just can’t imagine what it is that makes those plants grow that way and I think that must be what God is."
The second idea comes from Donald, a Unitatarian Universalist man, When we asked him what he thought, this is what he said:
"Well, it might be easier to tell you what I don’t think God is. I don’t think God is a man with a long beard, sitting up on a cloud who tells us what it should do and not do. But if I have to say what I think God is, well, let’s see, how can I put it? I think God is like the fiery yellow-orange-red power that comes out of the big explosion they call the Big Bang that happened at the beginning of the world. I think that power traveled out into space and slowly over the years became all the things in the universe, even you and me. It is in everything, even the things that we think are bad. I guess that’s what I think God is."
The third idea comes from Ellen, another Unitarian Universalist woman. When we asked her what she thaught here is what she said:
"I think God is love. I think of God as being in people’s hearts whenever they are caring about other people and trying to help those who need help. If I were to draw a picture of God I would draw a circle of people all holding hands and I would put a picture of a big red heart on each person. And I would put a smile on the face of each one of the people, a smile that showed that they were happy and feeling peaceful. That’s my idea of what God is, the love that we have for each other."
In-HEREnt Worth Game
From We Believe by Ann Fields and Joan Goodwin (UUA)
Goal:
To build self-esteem and recognize their own inherent worth
Materials:
1 game board (needs assembly) – Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4
playing pieces (need to personalize)
Life cards – Page 1, Page 2, Page 3
Basic cards (more on Life card & button pages)
In-Herent worth "buttons" (can be attached to clothing with sticky tape)
1 die
Preparation:
Everyone makes a playing piece by cutting out a strip with an outlined figure and drawing or coloring in features, then rolling and taping the strip so that the figure will stand up.
Cut out cards and place on game board where indicated. "In-HEREnt Worth Buttons" should be concealed until game ends.
How To Play:
The player or team with the most Experience Points wins. Eperience Points are won by landing on a Life space, drawing an age-appropriate Life card and discussing.
Leader beings game by having players palce their playing pieces at the School space, the Movies, or the Pizza space. It’s their choice!
1) Oldest player begins by rolling the die, taking the top Basic card, reading it aloud for discussion. (Leader’s Note: discussion is the real goal of the game, so get players involved. Ask questions like, "If this were you would it mean you were worth more or less as a person? Do you know anyone described by the card? Does this affect inherent worth?" Of course, the answer in all cases is a resounding "No!" Encourage a resounding response.)
2) Player then moves the number of spaces on the die. Players may move in any one direction, forward or backword. Younger players may be helped or may move forward only. Players will want to land where they can draw the most Life cards (to win Experience Points): when they land on Park or Mall, they get to draw two Life cards; on Life, only one.
3) When a player lands on a Life, Park, or Mall space, the player immediately draws a Life card (or cards) appropriate to his/her age. Read and discuss. (A discussion of feelings is appropriate. "If this were you, how would you feel? What might others think of you? Does this affect your inherent worth?") After discussion, the player gets one Experience Point for each Life card discussed. (Leader may wish to keep track of Experience scares — or players can keep their own scores.) The turn ends. Player to his/her right takes the next turn.
4) If player lands on a Go (Back) To space, s/he proceeds immediately to the space indicated and the turn ends, unless it is to the Park or the Mall where the player then draws two Life cards.
5) The game can continue indefinately. Shuffle and reuse cards as necessary.
6) When time is up, players check their scores. The player with the most Experience Points wins an In-HEREnt Worth Button. "Does winning or losing affect your inerent worth?" A resounding "NO!" So everyone gets a button.
Background for "Who was Jesus?"
Palm Sunday begins the Christian Holy Week,which commemorates the last week of Jesus life. Several different versions of this important story are recounted in the New Testament (Matthew 21:1-9, Mark 11:1-10, Luke 19:28-38). When presenting this story to children, you will want to remind them that this is indeed a story.
Palm Sunday is a celebration of the events associated with the day when Jesus entered Jerusalem, enacting the Coming of the Messiah according to the Jewish traditions. His disciples took branches from the palm trees and placed them on the road ahead of him as he rode in on a donkey. Thus, the name Palm Sunday, a day of joy and triumph. In the seventh or eighth century, the Christian churches started the practice of blessing and distributing palm branches, which is continued in many Christian churches today.
Other events of Holy Week include Maundy (Holy) Thursday and Good Friday. Celebrations are held on Holy Thursday commemorating that day when Jesus washed the feet of his twelve friends (disciples) as he gathered with them for his last supper. The Friday before Easter commemorates the day Jesus was crucified. It is called "good" because Christians believe that Jesus atoned for the sins of the world through his death and was victorious over death.
In celebrating Palm Sunday, focus on the courage of Jesus who chose to come to Jerusalem and speak out about what he held sacred. It is important to reflect on the teachings of Jesus– the right relationship of one human being to another and of each person to her or his God, as exemplified in "The Lord’s Prayer" and in "The Golden Rule." Choose one or both of these teachings to share with the children and make it a Hosanna day.
The teachings of Jesus emphasized in this session are found in the Christian scriptures: The Golden Rule is in Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31; The New Commandment is in Matthew 22:34- 40, Mark 12:28-34, and Luke 10:25-28; and The Lord’s Prayer is in Matthew 6:9-15.
Unitarian Universalist interpretations of these teachings can be found in From Long Ago and Many Lands, edited by Sophia Lyon Fahs, and "The Lord’s Prayer," words by the Rev. Barbara Marshman.
The Birth of Jesus, A Story from Palestine
NEARLY TWO THOUSAND years ago Jesus was born in Palestine far across the sea. Many wonder stories have been told about his birthday. This is the oldest of them all.
Mary, the young Jewish woman who became Jesus’ mother, was beautiful to look at, and a favorite among her neighbors. If someone had hunted the world over, it is believed that he could not have found a finer woman than Mary — one whose mind was so empty of ugly and mean thoughts and whose heart was so full of kindness for everyone.
Late one afternoon, as Mary sat in her garden dreaming of the time when she would become a mother, she thought she saw someone, unlike anyone she had ever seen before. He had flown like a bird with wings down into her garden and was standing before her. A light beamed about his face and his garments shone with the beautiful colors of the rainbow.
“Happy woman! Happy woman!” said the angel softly. He even called her by her name. “Mary,” he said, “You will soon have a child. He shall be a boy. You shall call his name Jesus. When he is grown he shall be a King. His kingdom shall never be destroyed or come to an end.”
When these soft words had been said, the shining angel disappeared, and Mary was left alone, trembling with wonder at this thing which was to happen to her.
Months passed by. The baby that rested in Mary’s body had grown almost, but not quite, large enough to be born. Just at this time an order came from the governor saying that Mary and Joseph, her husband, would have to go to the town of Bethlehem to take care of their taxes. This meant a journey of three or four days. Most of the time Mary could ride their little donkey. That would help, but Joseph would have to walk all the long way.
At last, late one evening, the hard journey was almost over. Mary and Joseph were nearing the town of Bethlehem. As they climbed the hill up to the town, they were happy in the thought that soon they would be able to wash their dusty hands and feet and lie down in a quiet room to sleep.
Without delay, they went to the well-known Bethlehem Inn and asked for a room. But the inn was already crowded with people. There was not a single empty room. Even the courtyard was jammed with camels, donkeys, bundles and a noisy crowd of people. Where could Mary and Joseph go? Joseph walked about exploring every nook and corner and asking from house to house. He knew that Mary was even more tired than he, and that she must have some place where she might lie down.
At last, he found a small place that was but half a room built against a hillside and open to the road. In it were two cows munching hay from the mangers in front of them. Could the travelers make use of this place and sleep with the animals? It would give them at least some cover and protection from the cold wind. They would try it.
So, Mary lighted a couple of small oil lamps and placed them in niches in the wall so that she and her husband might see what they were doing. With the flickering light from the tiny lamps, the young couple made beds of straw on the hard mud door. And tired as they could be, they lay down, covered themselves with a sheepskin blanket and tried to sleep.
Alongside them lay the cows, peacefully chewing the cud. Outside, high in the dark sky, thousands of bright stars beamed down upon them.
But the night was not far-gone when Mary was awakened. She knew the time had come for her baby to be born. Joseph arose and busied himself at once to make her as comfortable as possible. But where would he put the new baby when it came? There was no time to spare. Joseph was thinking fast. He looked at one of the cows’ mangers on the door near Mary’s bed. This would have to be the crib.
Joseph smoothed the hay still left in the manger. On top he spread out a soft piece of sheepskin for a blanket. When the new baby was born, Joseph wrapped it up and laid it gently in this manger crib. Before long the babe was sleeping snug and warm under the soft blanket, while Mary, his Mother, lay beside him, her heart brimful of peace.
THE VISIT OF THE SHEPHERDS
Now, that very night, in an open field out on a hillside a mile or so from the town, a few shepherds were sitting around a blazing fire. Some were sleeping while others kept sharp watch of every moving thing on the hillside lest a wolf or a bear sneak up in the dark and climb the wall into the sheepfold.
But it was not a wolf or a bear that surprised these shepherds that night. A shining angel suddenly flew down from the sky and lighted on the ground beside them. On seeing him, the shepherds screamed with fright.
“Be not afraid,” said the angel softly, “for I have come to bring you good news that will make glad all the peoples of the world. This night a child has been born in Bethlehem, who is going to be that great person you have all been hoping would some day free your nation and bring you peace. This child shall be your King.”
While the angel was still speaking to the shepherds, the sky began to glow with light. Instead of one angel, there appeared high in the sky many angels and all began singing together. The beautiful chorus seemed to fill the whole wide sky. And the words of the angels’ song sounded clear and strong.
“Glory to God in the highest! Glory to God in the highest!” the angels sang. “And on Earth peace and goodwill among men.”
As soon as the song was ended, the angels disappeared just as suddenly as they had come. The shepherds were once more left sitting alone in the darkness around the fire. Nothing else seemed important to them now except to go at once and see this thing that the angels had said had happened. The child must be somewhere in Bethlehem. They must find him.
Forgetting everything else–even their sheep and the wild beasts that might break into the fold–the shepherds hurried off to Bethlehem. Nor was it difficult, when once they were in the town, to find the little half-room on the hillside opening onto the road. Perhaps it was the flickering lights from the two small lamps that pointed the way. Perhaps it was the sight of Joseph moving about doing this and that for Mary and the babe. Perhaps it was the thin little cry of the newborn babe that gave them the hint.
But how surprised they were to find cows and the mother side by side and the baby lying in a manger crib! Could this really be the babe who would some day be a King! It seemed impossible, yet they felt it was true.
The shepherds told Joseph and Mary the whole story of what had happened to them as they were keeping watch over their sheep. The two listened and wondered at the things the shepherds said.
When at last the men were satisfied that they had really seen the wonder child, they left to go back to the hillside and to their sheep. When once outside the quiet, sleeping town, they sang their hearts out for joy.
Long after the shepherds had gone, Mary kept thinking again and again of the story they had told. Over and over she said to herself the words: “Peace on Earth and good will among men.” Would her little boy some day really make these things come true?
THE STAR IN THE SKY
In a country far off, three wise men were sitting together upon the roof of their house, looking up at the stars in the sky. Night after night for years, they had been studying the skies in this same way. Many of the stars were like old friends to them. These wise men knew all the stars that always stayed in clusters and they knew equally well those other stars (or planets, as we call them) that move more quickly and alone across the sky.
In times long ago it was thought to be very important to study the stars, because people believed that God put the stars in their places in the sky in order to tell people on the Earth about important things that were going to happen. If a new star appeared in the sky, one that the wise men had never seen before, they immediately thought that something new and important had just happened or was about to happen on the Earth.
That night, as these three wise men were sitting on the roof watching the sky, they saw a new bright star where they had never seen such a star before.
“What can this star mean?” they asked. “Something important has just happened somewhere on the Earth. What can it be? Where has it happened?”
“I know,” said one of the three wise men finally. “A child has been born who is going to be a very great and good man.”
“But who can the child be? And where has he been born?” The three wise men talked about it long into the night. At last they came to this conclusion. “The child who has been born is going to become the King of the Jews. He will be that greatest of all Kings for whom the Jews have long been hoping–the King who will bring peace everywhere.”
Now when once the men felt sure, their next thought was that they must go at once to Palestine and search for this child until they found him. That very night each one of the three men decided on the kind of present he would take to give to the new baby.
The next morning, they filled many bundles with food and supplies for a long journey. Toward evening; they saddled their camels, hoisted their bundles and themselves upon the camels’ backs and off they went, toward the west in the direction of the land of Palestine. It was no short or easy journey across miles of hot desert sands. During the heat of the daytime they set up a tent and rested under its shade. During the coolness of the night they rode forward with the bright stars to give them light.
Every night they watched for the special new star they had seen from their own rooftop. And every night the star came out, like a cheerful companion on their long and lonely journey. The strange thing about that star was that each night it seemed to move along just a little ahead of them as if it were pointing in the direction in which they should go. So the three men rode along on their camels, believing the star was leading them.
Finally, strange as it seems, when the men reached the town of Bethlehem, the star seemed to stop moving, and to hang still in the sky just over the little town. And, stranger still, the star seemed to hang directly over a certain house on a certain street. The three wise men believed they had found the right place, knocked on the door, and Joseph welcomed them in.
Immediately on seeing the little babe lying in his mother’s arms, the three men fell on their knees before them and began to thank God. One by one, each pulled from a bag hanging to his belt the gift, which he had brought. The first gave the baby a piece of gold. The second pulled out a package of incense that would make a sweet smell when it burned. And the third gave the babe some perfume. Mary and Joseph could scarcely believe what their eyes saw. They could not find the words they felt like saying. All they could do was to ask:
“Who are you? Where have you come from? Why are you doing these things?” Then Mary and Joseph heard the wonderful story of the new star that the men had seen in the sky and how it had guided them all the way to Bethlehem.
Although the strangers had much to tell, their visit seemed very short. Mary and Joseph were still in a daze as they stood in the doorway and watched the three men on their three camels pass down the street and out of sight.
When indoor and alone with their babe, the two could talk again. Did not the strangers know that Joseph was just a poor carpenter? And that Mary was only the daughter of a village farmer? How could their baby ever be a King?
This, then, is the old, old wonder tale about the birth of Jesus. What really happened no one can now know.
We do know, however, that this child of Mary and Joseph never became a King. Nor did he ever wish to be made a King. Jesus was a poor man by choice. When he was grown, he did not even have a home he could call his own. He was a teacher who traveled from town to town, teaching people how to live and what being good and doing right ought to mean.
Most of those who lived in that long-ago time have been forgotten, but Jesus is still remembered. Millions of people the world over still talk about Jesus. There are a great many people who even think about Jesus every single day. Stories that Jesus told almost two thousand years ago are still being told, both to grownups and to children. There are a great many people who think that Jesus was greater than any King who ever lived. They think Jesus was great and good–even as good as God. Jesus’ birthday is still celebrated. It is called Christmas Day, which means the birthday of the King.
Who was Jesus? What is Easter?
& uu&me! by CLF
Goal:
To understand the meaning of Jesus’ message of love and to explore the meanings of the traditional story of Easter.
Preparation: Read Background for Who was Jesus?
Read Background for What is Easter?
Materials:
Copies of The Colors of Easter for each person
Crayons, including a black one
Paper clip
Activities:
Conversation and Hosanna Story
Read “The Origins of Easter”
Read and draw “The Colors of Easter”
The Lessons of Loss
People don’t die in a vacuum, but rather within the context of cultural patterns and expectations. As such, the events, and even the feelings associated with death can be influenced by the social preferences, beliefs, and behaviors of the primary social group. For example, rituals of mourning often reflect a culture’s belief (or lack thereof) in an afterlife and its understandings of the causes of death.
However, in most cases, while rituals may emerge from different belief systems,and the actual behaviors that make up these rituals can look very different, these behaviors usually share common functions and outcomes. We will focus on identifying and understanding these functions and outcomes during Week 2. Then we will examine the ways in which they signify the same underlying motivations.
First, we will look at the different ways in which cultures respond to death and dying. As you review this material, remember that rituals reflect both cultural expectations and mores, as well as the preferences and personalities of the family or individual. As a result, mourning rituals vary greatly throughout the world. None are better or worse than others as long as they comfort the bereaved.
The information presented in this section provides a basic introduction, and in no way covers all aspects of cross-cultural mourning traditions. If your students ask you something you don’t know, don’t be afraid to say so. If there is sufficient interest, you and your students can investigate the issue together. using the resources listed throughout this lesson, and in the "Teacher Orientation" materials.
BELIEF IN AFTERLIFE
Cultures vary in their beliefs about the permanence of death and the existence of an afterlife. These differences are reflected in the ways they respond to death, and, perhaps, develop cultural/religious traditions.
For example, the ancient Egyptians believed that those who had lived worthy lives spent eternity in "the fields of Yam," a land of peace and plenty. This belief underwent revision in later years, when worthy individuals were thought to join Osiris in the Underworld. To ease their journey, pharaohs, their families, and other nobles were buried with the Book of the Dead (to help them answer questions they would be asked before being admitted to the afterlife) and all the objects they would need to carry on their lives. Ordinary Egyptians were not permitted entrance to the afterlife, and were buried in simple, shallow graves.
The Aztecs of Mexico believed there were three separate afterworlds and that the nature of the death determined the soul’s destination. While most people were condemned to Mictlan, a fairly dreary underworld home, those who drowned, died of illness, or were killed by lightning went to the much more pleasant Tlalocan. Women who died in childbirth or were sacrificed, and warriors killed in battle lived in an even more wonderful home after death.
Many of the Hindus who believe in reincarnation do not grieve at the time of death, but rather see death as a transition to another form of life. Because Hindus believe that Benares is a holy city, a "doorway to Eternity," many believers try to bathe in the Ganges River running through the city before dying to seek liberation from the death-rebirth cycle. Buddhists share the believe that death is a passage of the soul to another–and one would hope, better–life.
Muslims believe in the Last Judgment, when visiting angels will question the deceased about their beliefs. The souls of the damned are separated from God and condemned to eternal torture and torment. The souls of the righteous, however, exist at the right hand of Adam for eternity.
The Baganda of Uganda believe that the soul becomes an invisible ghost who retains many of the characteristics of the deceased, and remains with the family. If these ghosts are not pleased, they can make life unpleasant for the living by bringing illness or death. The Baganda believe that two years after a death, the ghost will enter the body of a newborn within the same family.
The Hopi Indians believe in a different kind of ghost, a friendly Kachina who visits the village and brings good luck or rain.
In contrast, a few cultures, such as the Kanuri of Nigeria and the Navaho do not conceive of an afterlife, but believe that all life ends with death. (Many Jews and UUs share this belief as well.) However, the Navajo hold~that all but the very young and the old generate evil spirits, a belief reflected in their burial rituals. For example, people avoid contact with the dead body, which often is buried in a distant, unmarked location.
RITUALS OF MOURNING
Rituals of mourning reflect a culture’s belief (or lack thereof) in an afterlife and its understandings of the causes of death. In other words, cultures that hold differing beliefs about the cause of death and/or the existence of an afterlife will develop different rituals of mourning.
Nevertheless, most mourning rituals share common elements, and generally prescribe how people should:
• mark the occasion of death
• handle the body prior to burial
• "feel the feelings" of loss or guide the expression of grief
• answer the question of "why" or otherwise fit the loss into a wider context
• maintain a connection to the dead and strengthen relationships with the living
• mark changes over time
While rituals of mourning may look completely different from culture to culture, they usually help individuals determine how to address one or more of these needs.
Handling the body prior to burial or cremation
Some cultures have rigid rules about the way in which a body should be disposed (burial, cremation, being left for scavengers); and might even specify the depth at which a body should be buried. In cultures with such rules, burial depth depends upon the family’s social and financial status. Other cultures, such as the Ik of East Africa, stipulate that the grave should be located in a favorite place of the deceased, who should be buried facing the rising sun folded into a fetal position to mark his or her celestial rebirth.
Muslims are never embalmed, and sometimes are not even placed in coffins so that the body returns to the earth as soon as possible. Bodies are buried facing Mecca.
Hindus aspire to "moksha," or release from the long cycle of rebirths. When Hindus suspect that they are close to death, they try to travel to Benares, the gateway to liberation, to be purified in the holy waters of the Ganges. Those who have led very holy lives, and who hope to be reunited with God, are carried to the river after death, weighted with stones, and lowered into the water. Their loved ones blow into conch shells and sing to mark the joyous occasion of the deceased person’s reunification with God.
"Ordinary" people are cremated, and proceed to heaven or hell. They will be returned to life in another form; the quality of this reincarnation depends upon the quality of the choices they made during their previous lives.
Because the Navaho fear the dead, those who prepare the body quickly bury it in a distant, unmarked location. To avoid being contaminated with the evil spirits of the dead, anyone who comes in contact with the body goes through various purification rituals, including bathing, destroying any clothes worn during preparation, and isolating themselves for a period of time.
A few cultures, including some Aborigine tribes of Australia, Leave dead bodies in tree platforms until they decompose.
"Feeling the feelings" or guide the feelings of loss
Practices vary considerably. Some cultures, such as the mains Indians, sanction the open expression of grief. The bereaved lacerate their heads, legs, or hands, and wail loudly. Others, including some American sub-groups and the Modjokuto of Central Java, encourage self-control. Modjokuto mourners strive to achieve "iklas," a detached state of not caring. Still others, such as the Abkhasians, permit bursts of emotion only during the funeral.
The official period of mourning also varies. The Magars of Nepal mourn for 13 days, while the Kanuri of Nigeria sanction a 40-day mourning period. The Barabaig in Tanzania hold funeral activities for eight or nine months after the death, and mark the end of mourning by suffocating a black ox near the grave site. On the Trobriand Islands, widows are expected to grieve openly for months, or even years. Jews in this country have developed a three-stage period of mourning. Shiva, which is held for the seven days following the funeral, marks the time of intense mourning when family members do not leave the house but instead receive visitors who come to pay their respects. (This ceremony is called "sitting Shiva.3 A 30-day period of mourning follows, during which mourners wear black and maintain an attitude of solemnity. About a year after the death, the family holds an unveiling ceremony (during which the gravestone is placed) to mark the official end of mourning. However, the family continues to light the Yahrzeit candle for the entire 24 hour anniversary of the death each year.
Commemorations
Cultures also develop different ways to remember and maintain relationships with the deceased. Such customs vary from the relatively simple anniversary mass celebrated in many Catholic churches; to the Jewish unveiling; to the elaborate and festive "Days of the Dead" in Mexico, during which time the spirits of deceased loved ones are invited back for a visit. Students will learn more about this ceremony this week, as well as during the final week of this curriculum.
– This festive centuries-old celebration is a blend of Aztec and Catholic beliefs.
– It is celebrated in Mexico and Central America.
– It is held from the evening of October 31 through November 2 of each year.
– Its purpose is to invite the dead to visit the living.
– Mexicans traditionally believe that if the dead are ignored or uncared for, they may take revenge on the living.
– October 31 is All Hallows Eve, when the spirits of dead children are invited back.
– Children make altars to invite the spirits of dead children to return; these altars include food, toys, photographs, small "Pan.de Los Muertos" (bread of the dead) and candles to light the way for the visiting spirits.
– Often children place tiny toy skeletons or sugar skulls marked with the names of the dead on the altar as well.
– November 1 is All Saints Day, which honors a family’s ancestors; during this day, adult spirits come to visit.
– The traditional meal for this celebration includes tamales and tortillas.
– Larger altars for adult spirits are constructed and include crucifixes, incense, food, flowers, photographs, a candle for each deceased relative, and some favorite foods of the deceased.
– Fireworks signify the official beginning of the visit of the spirits; at this time, the church bells start tolling and will continue to for 24 hours.
– The day is spent eating and visiting relatives, taking some of the food from the altar to share with others.
– November 2 is All Souls Day, when people attend church and then visit the cemetery to decorate the graves of their loved ones.
– In the afternoon, the church bells stop ringing, and another round of fireworks officially ends the visit of the dead.
– The afternoon ends with a huge picnic in the cemetery.
– As night falls, families light candles at the graveside and reflect on those who have died.
– Often people tell ghost stories or dance "the dance of the skeletons" (el baile de los esqueletos).
– These traditions vary from village to village.
Unitarian Universalist beliefs and theology
It also is helpful to review the beliefs that derive from our seven UU principles, and to examine how they inform our thinking about death and dying. Students may bring some of these ideas to bear on their reflections this week and next.
• No one holds the ultimate truth about life, death, and the existence of the soul.
• We have the right to change our minds.
• We have the right to our individual opinions and beliefs.
• We believe that a deed reserve of strength exists within each of us.
• Every person has the courage and ability to contemplate the unknowable.
• Life is hard and loss is inevitable. However, hard as it is, life is good and worth living. Our job is to live on earth with truth, beauty, and goodness.
• God (however defined) is characterized by love, not ultimate power.
• We can and do draw inspiration and strength from a wide variety of sources, including nature, individual fortitude, and other faiths.
• There are no "chosen" people: UUs are no more deserving of salvation or preference than people of other faiths (or of no faith).
• Because UUs tend to accept scientific explanations for occurrences, most members of our faith hold to an evolutionary view of the creation of the universe, and do not readily endorse the existence of heaven, hell, or purgatory.
• As expressed by James Freeman Clarke in the 19th century, many of us believe in "salvation by character," in which UUs place greatest emphasis on the way we live our lives today here on earth.
UUs can help each other during times of loss by:
• Sharing our emotions, both pleasant and painful.
• Recognizing the wrenching pain of loss.
• Acknowledging differences of opinion in an atmosphere of respect and acceptance.
• "Walking through the nettles" with each other.
• Offering support through our caring communities.
Many UUs do not know if there is an afterlife, but respect an individual’s right to hold his or her own beliefs. Many people believe we realize the outcome of our actions while living here on earth.
During today’s lesson, students also will learn about UU memorial practices that offer support to the bereaved, including:
• Memorial services
– Focus is on remembering and honoring the deceased
– Personal life history of deceased is at center of service, with some discussion of the meaning of his or her life
– Readings, music, prayers often reflect the preferences or personality of the deceased
– Offers chance for bereaved to remember unique qualities of deceased
– Provides community of caring in which bereaved can comfort each other
– Usually burial or cremation precedes service, which is arranged to be convenient for family and friends
– Major purposes of memorial service are to appreciate our relationship with the deceased and to minister to each other in an acknowledgment of our shared humanity
• Candles of Joy and Concern
– Offers chance for church members to rememorialize their UU and non-UU loved ones
– Many congregations include this ritual during worship service on a monthly or quarterly basis
• Other practices
– Memorial plaques in hymnals
– Memorial benches, rooms, wings of church
– Memorial gardens
Regardless of the specific types of beliefs and rituals that cultures develop around the death experience, these rituals represent approaches to meeting certain needs.
