AISHA HAUSER, msw, cre-ml
Lead Ministry Team, Church of the Larger Fellowship
I have always had a strong personality and for much of my professional life, I took that to mean that I can be a “good leader.” In time and with many experiences of leadership throughout my life and in different contexts, I have come to realize that leadership is not about telling people “what to do” or “asserting authority.” Rather, true leadership is about modeling and collaboration.
When in a position of leadership, that person is more visible to more people and what the leader does and says is under more scrutiny than others in any given system.
Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber is a Lutheran minister who has gained notoriety over the years for her progressive social views, while also being a devoted Christian and follower of the bible.
A few years ago, I attended a lecture she gave promoting one of her books and she began by talking about authenticity in leadership and how there is a lack of authentic leaders in the U.S. Bolz-Weber is almost six feet tall and has many visible tattoos. She is bold and unapologetic in how she asserts the teachings of Jesus, centering care for the under-resourced, underrepresented and targeted.
She told us that it is useless to try and hide some part of yourself when you are a faith leader, “Whatever you think you are hiding, people already know.” She was alluding to the fact that as a leader, you are always modeling and being true to yourself and others is the way to be a leader that people can and will trust.
It is hard to be both authentic and bold. In the age of social media, where people with any platform are scrutinized more than ever, it can be scary to show vulnerability and authenticity.
Even in the face of this, I assert it is important to model what it means to be true to the values and ideals you hold dear.
As a Unitarian Universalist, I have taken to heart the ways I can model what it means to center liberation, love and community care. I try to model what it means to move through the messiness of being human. I often share through my sermons and on the podcast The VUU, the ways I grapple with uncertainty, injustice and how to respond to the enormity of the ills in the world.
I almost never have any “answers,” what I do offer is what I think about and why. I offer the ways my UU faith informs how I imperfectly navigate the world. Perhaps the most important thing I do is show up authentically and with a heart full of love, grace and a determination to do what I can to bring about liberation in all I do.
I remember as a teenager, home alone one afternoon, listening over and over to David Bowie sing “Is there Life on Mars?” while gazing at the cover of his Hunky Dory album. I longed to be able to articulate the feelings I had inside me, and somehow this British man wearing makeup came closer than anyone else I’d yet encountered. I remember wondering– if my mother listened to him sing “Is there Life on Mars?” would she at least partially understand the desperation, the hopelessness, the profound alienation I felt all the time? I never dared to ask her. My friends and I got high instead of talking honestly about it all.
I didn’t know yet that I’d come to identify the vague loneliness and misery I felt all the time as heavily influenced by sexism and racism, classism and homophobia, in a declining Midwestern industrial town. I didn’t really get yet, that there were problems that were systemic, that the tiny lives of my friends and me were part of a much larger picture. It wasn’t till I was a young adult, beyond the reach of parents and school systems, accompanied instead by friends who deeply saw and heard me, that I could begin to name the parts of who I was and what I knew.
Last night I went to the “Be Heard Minnesota Youth Poetry Slam Series, 2014,” sponsored by a group called TruArtSpeaks. I saw there a group of young people who have found their voices, and who are speaking and heard at the intensity level I longed for myself as a teenager.
What happens when adults like Tish Jones, the Executive Director of TruArt Speaks, devote their lives to making young voices heard? When their coach Khary Jackson (AKA 6 is 9) takes time to work with them to express themselves clearly and with passion? When a packed house of family, friends, and strangers at a local theater pays and cheers and tells them they have changed us by speaking their hearts?
This is what healing looks like, I found myself thinking, even with wounds that are still gaping, in a world of oppression and violence and addiction and all of the other reasons that these kids and other people suffer. This is where healing begins.
Seven out of the nine contestants were young women of color. They, and the two young men—one African American, one white and openly gay–spoke about the ravages of racism and sexism and homophobia in their lives, of parents who are absent or abusive, of schools designed for them to fail. And there we were, a cheering, clicking, community of support, hanging on their every word. What does that do to a young person, I wonder.
For me, as an adult, as a white person, as a person with power and privilege in the culture, such an encounter also means healing. My healing begins with listening, and believing, young people, and marginalized people, the way I wanted my own mother to hear me. It begins with paying attention. And it extends to supporting the organizations and leaders who elicit these voices, in understanding that without people like Tish Jones and Khary Jackson, the safety to tell stories in that theater would not have been present for the young people on the stage.
This is what healing looks like. Led by the courageous, the ones who speak truths denied by louder voices, supported by love and respect. This is what healing looks like.
I feel profoundly blessed to have attended the slam last night, and to be represented as a Minneostan by the six young people who will move on to the national levels of competition as spoken word artists. But, as the MC kept saying over and over last night, This isn’t about competition. It’s about community, and leadership development, and having a good time together. And we did.
Quest for Meaning is a program of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF).
As a Unitarian Universalist congregation with no geographical boundary, the CLF creates global spiritual community, rooted in profound love, which cultivates wonder, imagination, and the courage to act.