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I used to have a hard time letting people do anything for me. I’d work on my own house, repair my own car—I will admit, in years gone by that was largely because I couldn’t afford to pay anyone.
But the issue is bigger than that. I had a hard time letting people give me anything. I would demur. I would say “Oh no, no, you needn’t; Thanks, but no thanks.”
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When I was three or four, my older brother Kevin was in kindergarten. He got to do so many interesting things, while I stayed home.
One day he got to go to with his class on a field trip to the local Sunbeam Bread bakery (factory). Later that evening, before dinner, he told us about his adventure—how he got to see the dough rising in the pans and how the pans rolled into the oven on conveyer belts.
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Maybe I don’t get out much. But I have always heard the word gratuitous associated with “gratuitous sex and violence” in movies I don’t want to see. Other negative connotations include a gratuitous insult or a gratuitous humiliation.
The definition I always assumed was that gratuitous meant unnecessary, arbitrary, indefensible, senseless, and unjustifiable. Until I purchased a gratuitous duck.
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I stopped at the Holocaust Memorial, something I had previously walked quickly past. Names of hundreds of thousands of survivors towered over me, neatly written on giant plexiglass monuments. At eye level, sayings and quotes by survivors are etched into the structures.
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I still remember the Christmas I was in the 8th grade. There was a box under the tree, a large box, the kind that clothing came in.
I was quite excited about that box. Shaking it in the days leading up to Christmas affirmed that it was clothing—that particular swoosh that fabric makes moving from side to side in a big box, with the faint sound of tissue paper around it.
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A candle is a careless thing, God wot. See how it is always
stretching up and reaching out. Read more →
December 2013
I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver. —Maya Angelou
Quest for Meaning is a program of the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF).
As a Unitarian Universalist congregation with no geographical boundary, the CLF creates global spiritual community, rooted in profound love, which cultivates wonder, imagination, and the courage to act.